1
00:00:02,319 --> 00:00:06,180
Hey, welcome to Beer Nuts. The Mater D
will be right with you.

2
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,980
Finally, an answer to the question.

3
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,620
What if the Goodfellas tracking shot was
filmed at Olive Garden?

4
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:24,900
So how do you know the director?

5
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:29,860
C for Craig.

6
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,300
I love them.

7
00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:34,400
But my name is Steve. And I love my
earring.

8
00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:36,440
Well, you should. You picked them out.

9
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,700
I was just helping you have good taste.

10
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,300
Are you kidding?

11
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,460
I have excellent taste. I ordered us the
breadsticks and dipping sauce.

12
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:47,340
Happy anniversary, honey.

13
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:49,460
Happy anniversary.

14
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,380
Oh. What's up? I just remembered.

15
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,200
I'm married to Boob Powell.

16
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:02,500
The artwork for my article is due on
Becca's desk by 9 o 'clock. Tonight.

17
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,040
I'm sorry, honey. I just got to run by
the office. I won't be long. Maybe a

18
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:06,679
hour top.

19
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,400
The waiter won't even be done tempting
you with dessert.

20
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:10,880
Do what you got to do.

21
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,400
You're the best.

22
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,540
Take the car. I'll take a cab.

23
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,620
This is how all of Billy Bob Thornton's
anniversaries end.

24
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,240
Thanks, baby.

25
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:28,359
Lift. Phone?

26
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,460
More like Inspector Loser.

27
00:01:31,260 --> 00:01:32,260
Booyah!

28
00:01:32,740 --> 00:01:34,400
Wilson's driving away right now.

29
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,700
We've got 11 minutes until Billings'
alarm engages.

30
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:38,600
Tonight of all nights.

31
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,520
The perfect time to search the file.

32
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,240
I know. I'm on my way. I'll see you back
at the office.

33
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,800
Bar at the airport, Hilton.

34
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,760
Bar at the airport, Hilton.

35
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,500
Oh, isn't that nice?

36
00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:59,760
They put the inspecting mom parking
spots right up front.

37
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:09,699
Red room.

38
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:10,740
Red room.

39
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:21,700
Okay, before we get too deep into this,
is it inspector mom's or inspector's

40
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:22,700
mom?

41
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,280
Inspector's mom, but only if you're
nasty.

42
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,380
My doctor makes me show up this early to
appointments, too.

43
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,960
Meanwhile, her husband is wondering why
he married Winnie Cooper.

44
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,420
I knew you got a chin tuck.

45
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:52,860
Janice, you liar.

46
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:03,930
Who among us hasn't ducked out on an
anniversary to do a HIPAA violation?

47
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,410
Becca, yeah, I... Nate, honey, what's
wrong?

48
00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,230
Well, ask Daddy, okay?

49
00:03:15,190 --> 00:03:16,290
What when he gets out of the shower?

50
00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:19,110
Mommy's committing felony trespass,
sweetie.

51
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:22,430
Chocolate chip, yes, tomorrow, I
promise.

52
00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:24,330
Okay, love you too, gotta go, bye.

53
00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:29,530
Ooh, time to grab those free
pharmaceutical pens and skedaddle.

54
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:40,570
Well, another long day of looking like
George Kennedy is on the books.

55
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:48,190
No honest physician could afford real
cotton dockers.

56
00:03:56,450 --> 00:03:58,950
Time to meet the gang down at Beer Nats.

57
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:06,090
We got him.

58
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:10,090
The quote -unquote treasure chest in his
office is fake.

59
00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:11,670
Every week.

60
00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:17,550
We nailed him. You nailed him. You were
the best -kept secret in this town.

61
00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:19,209
Better stay that way. I'm retired.

62
00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:21,730
She just does B andAs for fun now.

63
00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:23,690
I could have. We almost met in his
office.

64
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,130
I saw him leave.

65
00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:28,710
When you saw him get into his car, was
he wearing a jacket?

66
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:32,330
No. Oh, he went back for his date.

67
00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:37,310
And you want to be my Watson. He's a
known hypochondriac from Florida, and

68
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,870
58 degrees out. You tell me.

69
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,330
But we nailed him.

70
00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:44,650
He's administered his last life -saving
treatment.

71
00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:46,630
Are you sure you want me to do dinner
coming back full -time as an

72
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:50,240
reporter? Don't ask me. Ask me now. I'm
all pumped up. That's exactly why I'm

73
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,179
asking you now.

74
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:54,940
No, I've got kids now. My little
editorial column is more than enough

75
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:59,080
me. Tomorrow's column covers fun ideas
for a rainy day with the kids and how to

76
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,080
pick a morning block.

77
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:04,380
Thank you, but I've also got a husband
who's waiting for me at home on the

78
00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:05,520
couch. Oh, go.

79
00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:10,620
Go! Go home to your perfect life on your
perfect couch.

80
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:19,530
Get in here.

81
00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:22,990
Hitler's Secret Tunnels is on the
History Channel again.

82
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,110
I'm in here.

83
00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:31,910
I'm full of jalapeno poppers.

84
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:34,510
Did you get your column done?

85
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:35,850
Yep.

86
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:37,650
Where were we?

87
00:05:38,190 --> 00:05:39,310
We were doing something?

88
00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:41,030
I think so.

89
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:45,930
This is almost as hot as taking down
Medicare cheats.

90
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,740
Mommy, can I have a glass of... Oh, my
God!

91
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,120
Honey, you okay?

92
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:03,040
I'm fine. Max had a nightmare.

93
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,360
Oh, honey, that's just how Daddy tickles
Mommy.

94
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:08,740
Oh,

95
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,220
sweetie, don't step on that.

96
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,300
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he already did. Do
we have too many cupcakes at Grandma's

97
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:21,860
tonight? Yeah. Can I sleep in the big
bed tonight? Of course you can, sweetie.

98
00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:25,550
My name is Maddie Monroe.

99
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:30,950
Hi, Maddie. A wife and a part -time
crime solver. Not necessarily in that

100
00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:33,610
Honey, can I use a mop on that floor?

101
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:38,250
For the last time, honey, we use a rake
on the shag. God help me.

102
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:39,530
This is my life.

103
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:46,430
In association with Franklin Delano
Roosevelt.

104
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:58,010
Brad Keller, known for producing Oliver
Stone's JFK, and this.

105
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:09,230
It's so inspiring how she worked her way
up from lowly patrol mom to the rank of

106
00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:11,150
inspector. You inspector, I'm busy.

107
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:28,720
I see your game, Danica McKellar.

108
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:38,100
I use this to spot stubborn laundry
stains.

109
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,080
No running. Honey, eat something, okay?

110
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,760
Matt, have you seen my keys? The keys
are in the bathroom counter. What about

111
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:45,760
wallet? Jacket. Pocket.

112
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,000
Okay, that's a hard nope on that
necktie.

113
00:07:49,780 --> 00:07:51,040
The key's falling off.

114
00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:53,300
My Craig, he knows...

115
00:07:58,789 --> 00:08:00,230
What about thrust?

116
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,010
Bathroom camera.

117
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:14,130
Hello? Have you seen the paper? They
have enough to put that bastard away for

118
00:08:14,130 --> 00:08:18,970
sure. Words I pray every day to hear
about Andy Dick, Hilaria Baldwin, or

119
00:08:18,970 --> 00:08:19,970
Thicke.

120
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:28,480
Okay, but they got 500 emails demanding
that Ziggy start wearing pants.

121
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:39,059
And co -defendant.

122
00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:46,950
A school lunch fund and bed lure?

123
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:50,530
Mom! Becca, I appreciate it really, but
I don't do that anymore.

124
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,390
You literally just did.

125
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,690
That guy was dealing drugs to kids.

126
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,730
Call me in ten years when I have some
free time. Love you. Gotta go.

127
00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:01,810
Mom! No more oatmeal in the car, buddy.
It's still stuck in the door from last

128
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:04,290
time. Who is this kid? Linda Blair?

129
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,590
Yes, sweetie. I can't find my soccer
jersey anywhere.

130
00:09:08,070 --> 00:09:10,010
Did you check the dryer? Yes, Mom. I
checked there.

131
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,700
Oh, I could be hunting serial killers,
you know?

132
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:17,700
Hey, let's go.

133
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,220
How am I supposed to find it if you keep
putting it away?

134
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,440
Pack your bag.

135
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,220
I'm gone. I'll see you tonight.

136
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,499
You're not going?

137
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,560
For the last time, I work for Century
21.

138
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:33,020
I wanted to buy the gel. I thought maybe
you had a stewardess on the side.

139
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,700
It's flight attendant, and I am late.

140
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,640
Hey! That is not a denial, mister.

141
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,660
Dad, can you watch my soccer practice
today?

142
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:42,180
Oh, honey, Daddy's got to work.

143
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,420
Maybe Thursday, though. She's got the
big tournament game.

144
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,460
No, I've got a lot of flight hours in
the simulator.

145
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,420
Please, Daddy, please come see me play.

146
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,920
Why can't you be like the other bad
dads?

147
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,700
All right, come on, kids.

148
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:53,920
In the car, let's go.

149
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:04,780
Oh, please, no one has ever been this
happy at a children's sporting event.

150
00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:08,700
Come on, Lucy, Lucy, come on.

151
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,100
Kick the ball.

152
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:11,500
Pass the ball.

153
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,400
It's a soccer ball.

154
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,080
It's not a Barbie doll.

155
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:19,280
The ball is not a Barbie doll. He really
is a professional.

156
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:23,020
Suffered a bad knee injury, came to the
States for medical treatments that

157
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:27,040
didn't work, and somehow found himself
in my town, coaching little girl soccer.

158
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,080
And hating on Barbie, apparently.

159
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,840
And why not?

160
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,840
Look at how charming he is.

161
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:36,860
Come on, let's go. Move it, move it,
move it. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Pass the

162
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,760
I fired my Lamaze coach for yelling like
this.

163
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,680
What's gotten into him?

164
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:45,980
He's just whipping them into shape. It's
only to motivate her. Girls, where is

165
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,420
your dignity? Where is your soul?

166
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:49,780
Oh, this guy's funny.

167
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,200
Everybody knows children don't have
souls.

168
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,540
Summon your rage, baby.

169
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,900
Studies show that girls need to learn
more aggression. It's good for them.

170
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,200
Right? I mean, how else will girls
experience being treated badly by a man?

171
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:06,080
Whoa! Honey, he can't talk to our
daughter like that.

172
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,000
You're doing great, Tara! You're
wonderful!

173
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,250
Is this what I taught you?

174
00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:14,650
That's me every time my husband tries to
load the dishwasher.

175
00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:17,650
Come on, he's got to be doing something
right. We're a winning team.

176
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:19,410
This guy's an ass.

177
00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:21,970
I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him.

178
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:26,910
Now, honey, don't get falsely accused of
murder. We're having the Kleins over

179
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:27,910
for dinner.

180
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,490
That's why she keeps me around.

181
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,310
For my testosterone.

182
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,750
Also my Chris Pine -ish good looks.

183
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:35,950
Honey, it's four o 'clock.

184
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,350
Ah, shoot.

185
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:40,790
I got some stuff to do back at the
office.

186
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:43,610
I guess I'll talk to him later.

187
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:48,490
By office, I mean airplane. I have some
stuff to do around the airplane.

188
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,090
I think

189
00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:58,090
we might have

190
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,570
met our murder victim.

191
00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:03,090
Girls, there you go. Come on, come on,
come on.

192
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,930
What do you mean you don't speak
Spanish?

193
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:09,210
Learn! My first and only day as a public
school teacher.

194
00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:12,650
Was that Coach Rivera?

195
00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:15,190
What was he doing with Bernice Haskins?

196
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:19,090
Bernice Haskins, typical soccer mom.
Suburban Jezebel.

197
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:22,350
Dull marriage, 2 .5 kids, nothing much
to give a second thought to.

198
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:23,950
Until now.

199
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,170
Stop, Maddie, stop.

200
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:30,070
Keep driving and go home.

201
00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:31,430
Good girl.

202
00:12:31,690 --> 00:12:34,890
Your inner monologue's a little too
wonder years for me.

203
00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:39,190
Yeah. Look, Bernice... Thanks, I'm a
coach. That's interesting, but it's

204
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:40,190
none of my business.

205
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:44,850
I have much better things to do with my
time than to worry about who's having an

206
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:45,850
affair with who.

207
00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:47,150
Affair with whom?

208
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:48,850
Very busy day today.

209
00:12:50,230 --> 00:12:51,230
Very busy.

210
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,670
What? I hadn't exercised all week.

211
00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,250
Get off my back, me.

212
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:00,490
Did you work karate?

213
00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:05,810
The car is still here.

214
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:11,390
What could they be doing that takes more
than ten minutes?

215
00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:19,510
If you're not careful, you're going to
witness an open net goal.

216
00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:23,110
Why is she holding her eye?

217
00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,170
What's wrong with her eye?

218
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:31,070
Could Revere have hit Bernice in the
face?

219
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:36,330
Was Kevin Spacey Kaiser Soze? I didn't
see anything, but... I mean, what would

220
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:37,350
you do? Walk away?

221
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:47,870
Ah, the penny saver. Second only to
pizza boxes for false pretext door

222
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:49,070
For me?

223
00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,810
Maddie? What can I do for you?

224
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,990
I thought maybe you wanted your
newspaper.

225
00:13:55,510 --> 00:13:59,870
Before the sprinklers turn on. My column
today is about getting oatmeal out of

226
00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:00,870
car doors.

227
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,040
Sure, because... I'll get it later.

228
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,700
Thanks for stopping by.

229
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,380
Okay, well, you know, just call me if
you need anything.

230
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,100
An ice pack? A comically large raw
steak?

231
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,220
Growing up with a crime -fighting mom,
chapter one.

232
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,840
Okay. Good job today.

233
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,060
Thank you.

234
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:30,540
I love you.

235
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:34,250
I love you, too. And no reading. It will
strain your eyes.

236
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:46,130
Dear Father in Heaven, please move this
plot along.

237
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:47,550
Amen.

238
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:54,450
Remind me to install full -size closets.
Okay, I have to get started on this

239
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:58,570
week's Inspector Mom column, but what
about Bernice? Was she really hit?

240
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:01,470
Maybe she was just upset about...
Something else.

241
00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:03,590
I hadn't seen anything after all.

242
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:05,550
I wish I knew for sure.

243
00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,510
Oh, well, I'll just watch some YouTube
videos.

244
00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:15,370
Well, I was just about to finish my Sex
in the Suburbs column.

245
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:24,890
I saw your lights run. I hope you don't
mind me stopping by. I forgot my sleeve.

246
00:15:25,110 --> 00:15:27,070
I have the best gossip.

247
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,580
I mean, I just had to see your face when
I told you. So make it a good one,

248
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:34,820
okay? One of the soccer moms is having
an affair with Coach Rivera.

249
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,760
No wonder why his wife doesn't come to
the games anymore.

250
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:42,940
I mean, not that I wouldn't mind having
just a little piece of that firm and

251
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:46,120
round and... Got it. You want to bite a
soccer ball.

252
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:47,820
It's Jackie.

253
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,500
Jackie. Jackie?

254
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,380
Jackie? Jackie!

255
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:54,120
You know something?

256
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,480
No.

257
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,430
Bill! I don't know anything.

258
00:15:57,650 --> 00:15:59,270
Craig's going to be home soon. But
Maddie!

259
00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:01,890
I feel like I haven't seen you in
forever.

260
00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:04,590
Except for my midnight gossip delivery.

261
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:07,350
He'll feel completely pampered. It'll be
great.

262
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:11,810
Okay, one more person I have to explain
if you want to understand my life. I

263
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:15,190
barely understand my life. You're my fun
friend. You know, the one who actually

264
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:19,130
did experiment in college. I have a
story or two involving her personal

265
00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:22,550
and Jose the gardener. And these aren't
necessarily separate stories. Yeah.

266
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,180
Use the friendly neighborhood gossip. I
love her, but she's always trying to

267
00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:29,160
drag me to things like beauty club
meetings. Of course, I don't go.

268
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,020
Hang out with a bunch of socialites who
all think they should be the center

269
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:33,200
story of my next article?

270
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,700
No thanks. But it's a good MLM.

271
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,520
The last time you got a break.

272
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:39,180
Well, let's see.

273
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:40,840
What month is it?

274
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,280
See?

275
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,760
That seems sinister.

276
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,600
I know.

277
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,600
I know. Maybe next time.

278
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,840
Can you imagine what Rivera must be like
in bed? I mean...

279
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,660
He's so noisy.

280
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,180
Good night, Sandra.

281
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,400
I'll call you.

282
00:16:56,580 --> 00:17:00,460
No, that's okay. Our phone is broken. I
mean, it's lost. We didn't pay the phone

283
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:02,060
bill. I mean, we don't believe in
phones.

284
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,140
I did need to relax.

285
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,339
I also needed a hug.

286
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:10,400
Where was that husband of mine?

287
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,859
He's probably somewhere hugging a Coors
Light.

288
00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:16,980
Hello? Hi, sweetie.

289
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,599
Look at me. Don't I look happy,
peaceful?

290
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:25,910
That's because I didn't know that my
sweet and loving husband just got

291
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:29,850
into a bar fight. I bet it was a lemon
bar. They're always looking for a fight.

292
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:32,990
Whoa, honey, slow down. What happened?
Where are you?

293
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:34,830
I'm coming up the stairs.

294
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:36,710
Wait, the bar was in the basement?

295
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,210
With none other than Coach Rivera.

296
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:44,730
I heard your voiceover, and yes, none
other than Coach Rivera.

297
00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:47,250
What happened?

298
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:49,530
And our story begins.

299
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,220
20 minutes in and it's just beginning?

300
00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:54,540
What? He hit me.

301
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:55,920
Coach Rivera.

302
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,780
Yeah. This was getting out of hand. If
that was a pun, it's the most

303
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:01,280
thing that's happened so far.

304
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:05,500
Yes. And he was drinking too?

305
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:06,760
We're at a bar.

306
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:08,900
Who all was there?

307
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,060
Terrence, Dr. Corder, and Don.

308
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,800
All right, come on.

309
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:15,860
We bring you live to Who All Was There?

310
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:17,060
Such a hard time.

311
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:20,310
We're winning, aren't we? Oh, and we all
know how important it is to you that we

312
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:21,590
have a winning team, don't we, Terrence?

313
00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:24,650
Look, I told you guys, I'm off betting
for good.

314
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:25,889
Are you sure?

315
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:30,070
I think Ralph is still here if you want
to join me in a bet on this weekend's

316
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:33,430
game. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can
already hear Jackie in my head.

317
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:38,030
Jackie! The point isn't that Rivera's a
tough guy. The point is he's getting

318
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:41,010
worse. What are you going to say to him?
Don't yell so much?

319
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:42,230
He's a coach.

320
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:44,750
Coaches yell. It's what they do. End of
story.

321
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,760
All right, look, I don't like his
attitude, okay?

322
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,200
I'm going to mark him down for it. I
don't think he's treating the girls that

323
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,680
way. Craig, I think we need to speak
with him.

324
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:54,500
You want to speak to him right now?

325
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:56,479
Why now?

326
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,920
Because he just walked into the bar. Oh,
I love these jokes. Who are the other

327
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,020
two characters who walk in?

328
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:06,740
What? He didn't see us.

329
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,900
Take a break, pool cue.

330
00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:11,340
I'm going to go talk to him.

331
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,340
I'll come with you. No, no.

332
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,370
Shouldn't look like we're ganging up on
them or anything.

333
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:19,530
Watch out now, Craig. You're just going
to go over there and piss them off, man.

334
00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:23,250
Guy! There's two grown men talking. It's
going to be fine.

335
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:26,350
Look, a little hostility among enemies.
Well, let's have another drink first.

336
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,409
You know, make it interesting.

337
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:28,189
Oh, no.

338
00:19:28,190 --> 00:19:30,210
Have a shot of tequila now. That's
fighting juice.

339
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,370
All right, look. You guys stay here and
have another beer.

340
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:34,190
You don't have to badger me so much.

341
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,390
What's the fun in that?

342
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,110
Be careful what you say to him, Craig.

343
00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,070
Don't bring up Ted Lasso.

344
00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:47,180
Yeah, all right. It's the Ted. I see
you, bartender. What up?

345
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:48,940
Hey, coach.

346
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,020
I'm no longer alone.

347
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:53,480
We'll have to meet somewhere else.

348
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:54,820
Yeah, he's here.

349
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,840
Bartender's here and took my order. All
good.

350
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,180
What do you need?

351
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,240
I want to talk to you about practice
today.

352
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:07,260
What about it? I think we need a mascot.
I have a chicken costume. I'm good to

353
00:20:07,260 --> 00:20:09,580
go. You shouldn't be so rough on the
girls.

354
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,120
Is that what you think?

355
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:16,200
Yeah. I mean, you treat him like...
Listen, don't question my methods.

356
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,280
I'm from Colombia.

357
00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:20,380
My teams win.

358
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,980
When Pablo Escobar coaches peewee
soccer.

359
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,000
Wait a minute, I'm talking.

360
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:30,620
Don't... What's your problem?

361
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:33,000
Oh, I thought everybody would be kung fu
fighting.

362
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,360
Did you enjoy the show?

363
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:46,080
He brightens everyone's day with his
laughter.

364
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,300
Who is he on the phone with?

365
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:51,780
That's your question.

366
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,020
No, I was thinking... Oh, I thought I
smelled something burning. Maddie, stay

367
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,400
away from him. Stay out of this.

368
00:20:58,780 --> 00:20:59,780
Excuse me?

369
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,700
I know you. First out of trouble, you go
rushing in trying to solve everything.

370
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,280
Well, we're taking Tara off the team,
that's for sure.

371
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,720
What? We got a good offer from Man U.

372
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:11,380
Maddie, I'm not in love with the guy
either, but we can't punish Tara for

373
00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:14,320
We'll find another team. It's not going
to hurt little kid.

374
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:15,960
Why are you defending him?

375
00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:17,220
I'm not.

376
00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:21,540
Matty, I would love to go down there and
just beat them. Easy there.

377
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,600
We can't afford to bleep you for
broadcast.

378
00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:25,900
Matty, you didn't play team sports.

379
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:27,360
I did.

380
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,060
The tournament starts this week.

381
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,860
Me and the guys have our great school
fantasy soccer teams all worked out.

382
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,240
I don't know.

383
00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:41,560
The coach will never be alone with her.
You're always there, right?

384
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,580
Yeah. She's worked so hard this year for
this tournament.

385
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,440
And I lay all my school sports
disappointments on her doorstep.

386
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,140
You're a pretty good dad, you know that?

387
00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:53,600
Maybe I had to listen to you.

388
00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:57,160
If it makes it an action scene, please
do.

389
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,180
Maybe that.

390
00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:06,550
But promise me you'll stay away from
Coach Rivera.

391
00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:10,010
He's already got a lot of extramarital
affairs on his plate.

392
00:22:13,090 --> 00:22:14,630
I'm like my own restraining order.

393
00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:16,890
Not within a hundred feet.

394
00:22:20,930 --> 00:22:24,090
Oh, you smell like Cuddy Stark and Paul
Maul.

395
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:34,950
Hello, sir or madam. Would you like to
buy some red stilettos to help keep kids

396
00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:36,090
like me off the streets?

397
00:22:37,270 --> 00:22:40,410
So glad you decided to come to the
beauty club.

398
00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:43,590
Once I heard more about the event, I
couldn't resist.

399
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:46,570
I do love all the Ritz Cracker
appetizers.

400
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:50,070
Bernice's house. And this time, I get to
go inside.

401
00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,030
Come in!

402
00:22:54,470 --> 00:22:57,690
Hi! Nice to see you, person not actually
there.

403
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:04,520
Uh, well, I wanted to corner Bernice.

404
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,520
My bionic eye scanned the room. Locate
her.

405
00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:12,980
Oh, remember, ladies, there is no such
thing as an unattractive woman.

406
00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:16,720
Just a lazy one. It's your civic duty to
wear makeup.

407
00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:20,860
Oh, yay, Kathy Owen.

408
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:25,540
No family, no job, small trust fund,
which rumor has it she's all but used

409
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:29,580
The kind of woman who says she doesn't
need a man and then overcompensates by

410
00:23:29,580 --> 00:23:33,520
being in charge of every organization
she can get her hands on. If only she

411
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,100
a man, she wouldn't be so proactive.

412
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:38,840
Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, welcome.

413
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:40,480
It's about time.

414
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:45,640
We are so excited to have a famous
journalist with us. But you'll do in the

415
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,120
meantime. Not famous.

416
00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:49,530
Everyone reads Inspector Mom.

417
00:23:49,850 --> 00:23:52,430
You know, I've always thought you should
do one about where the missing sock

418
00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:53,650
goes when it enters the dryer.

419
00:23:54,330 --> 00:23:56,910
Investigative reporter Irma Bombeck
covered that already.

420
00:23:58,110 --> 00:23:59,110
Carrie,

421
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:02,950
you forgot to put the pen out.

422
00:24:03,510 --> 00:24:05,230
Sorry. Use a cucumber.

423
00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:08,410
Maddie is too humble. She's interviewed
terrorists, you know.

424
00:24:08,790 --> 00:24:11,510
They were drug dealers. It was a long
time ago.

425
00:24:12,990 --> 00:24:14,070
Oh, that one's run out.

426
00:24:14,570 --> 00:24:17,830
And I got to tape a huge fake flower on
it so people don't feel it.

427
00:24:18,550 --> 00:24:21,070
So, uh, you're the director of the club?

428
00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:24,290
Oh, I'm a lot more than the beauty club
director.

429
00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,270
Was Bernice even here?

430
00:24:26,770 --> 00:24:29,950
It was hard to tell with all the mud.
You know, prize -winning topiaries

431
00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:30,950
trim themselves.

432
00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:35,970
Let's enjoy possibly the first topiary
conversation we've ever had in a movie.

433
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:39,610
You know, you might want to think about
doing a piece on me for your Inspector

434
00:24:39,610 --> 00:24:42,730
Mom segment. I mean, I know you don't
normally feature plants, but these are

435
00:24:42,730 --> 00:24:43,709
very special.

436
00:24:43,710 --> 00:24:45,650
One is studying to be an arborist
himself.

437
00:24:46,150 --> 00:24:48,310
You can rarely find bullets like this
outside of a formal trench guard.

438
00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:50,270
That's amazing.

439
00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:51,650
Amazing.

440
00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:53,970
We must talk.

441
00:24:54,170 --> 00:24:55,650
How about after the meeting, okay?

442
00:24:56,110 --> 00:25:00,190
Okay. I'd love to see the minutes from
the beauty club meeting.

443
00:25:00,990 --> 00:25:02,770
She repeats everything I say.

444
00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:05,230
Yeah.

445
00:25:05,870 --> 00:25:06,870
She does that.

446
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:11,610
Overly cheery people scare me. Which is
why I hate myself.

447
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:14,610
Except you. It works on you.

448
00:25:17,370 --> 00:25:20,810
Come on. I don't want to miss the
PowerPoint on sebum.

449
00:25:21,990 --> 00:25:22,990
Isn't this great?

450
00:25:23,950 --> 00:25:27,510
Ladies, no talking, no moving. In order
to absorb the nutrients, we must

451
00:25:27,510 --> 00:25:30,490
meditate on clean skin. She looks
delicious.

452
00:25:30,890 --> 00:25:31,890
Your closet's relaxing.

453
00:25:32,610 --> 00:25:35,430
Maybe we can figure out who's been
sleeping with contra fear.

454
00:25:35,790 --> 00:25:37,290
Well, let's see.

455
00:25:37,730 --> 00:25:38,730
Who's smiling?

456
00:25:40,410 --> 00:25:42,950
Maddie, I expected more from you.

457
00:25:43,230 --> 00:25:47,630
So did her fans. Okay, now it's time for
the first round of gals to exfoliate.

458
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:49,750
Bernice, Carrie, Susan.

459
00:25:50,330 --> 00:25:52,330
Ah, granny panties, please.

460
00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:55,130
Can I help you, Maddie?

461
00:25:55,450 --> 00:25:57,190
You were in the second group.

462
00:25:58,190 --> 00:26:01,250
No, I know. I just, I had to use the
restroom.

463
00:26:01,850 --> 00:26:02,850
Is that okay?

464
00:26:02,930 --> 00:26:05,550
Yes, just don't use the shell -shaped
soap.

465
00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:15,310
I had to see if Rivera really hit
Bernice in the face.

466
00:26:15,590 --> 00:26:18,470
She was probably too scared to tell
anyone because then they'd know about

467
00:26:18,470 --> 00:26:20,490
affair. I wanted to help her somehow.

468
00:26:20,890 --> 00:26:22,270
Maybe I could help her wipe.

469
00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:26,430
You know what? Her eye is probably fine.
It's just the curse of an overactive

470
00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:27,430
imagination.

471
00:26:28,590 --> 00:26:32,830
Big tournament game tomorrow. Isn't it
exciting? Whoa, whoa. Use the poo for

472
00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:37,110
next time. Yeah, her eye is probably
fine behind those enormous black

473
00:26:37,110 --> 00:26:38,110
sunglasses.

474
00:26:41,410 --> 00:26:43,690
Just want to remind her to jiggle the
handle.

475
00:26:50,970 --> 00:26:53,970
All cast members must bring their own
chairs.

476
00:27:00,690 --> 00:27:03,970
Don't worry, girls. You'll all have a
chance to tear an ACL.

477
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:06,630
I'll hear this.

478
00:27:06,890 --> 00:27:11,430
You must focus. The game begins in five
minutes.

479
00:27:11,730 --> 00:27:14,690
Cinco minutos, niña. What about French
speakers?

480
00:27:14,950 --> 00:27:16,370
Do they know when the game begins?

481
00:27:16,650 --> 00:27:17,690
He had to work.

482
00:27:18,150 --> 00:27:19,150
Guess what?

483
00:27:19,470 --> 00:27:23,050
You are looking at the new treasurer of
the garden club.

484
00:27:23,750 --> 00:27:24,750
Do you garden?

485
00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:26,490
I buy plants.

486
00:27:27,410 --> 00:27:28,770
Expensaries don't count.

487
00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:31,140
Twice.

488
00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:34,620
It's more the honor of the office.

489
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,120
All right, girls, let the game begin.

490
00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:41,260
Go, girls. Four minutes early.

491
00:27:43,380 --> 00:27:45,340
Okay, just like we did in practice.

492
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:51,240
Okay, now the game begin.

493
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:58,299
Oh, my God, it's Jackie.

494
00:27:58,300 --> 00:27:59,340
Is that Jackie? That's Jackie.

495
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:11,660
Oh, that's Spanish for Chelsea. Your mom
brought gross organic juice boxes

496
00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:12,660
again.

497
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:20,380
I mean,

498
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,820
Abigail does kind of suck.

499
00:28:31,879 --> 00:28:36,640
My team, my rules. Get off the field.
Coach Revere is at risk of not getting

500
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,720
end -of -the -year Outback Steakhouse
gift certificate.

501
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,160
Honey, he doesn't mean that. How the
hell I don't? You talk to my daughter

502
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,220
that again, I'll take you down.

503
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,480
Hey!

504
00:28:46,860 --> 00:28:50,200
Everyone, just chill out. Wear your
wife's hat and chill out.

505
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,540
Back to the game, back to the game.

506
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:58,680
All right, now, keep the ball, Donna.

507
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,500
Oh, touchstone, I guess. I guess.

508
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,940
Wow. Revere is so nasty, but look at the
kids. They're so happy.

509
00:29:11,380 --> 00:29:13,480
I guess everything worked out after all.

510
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:17,300
And now two weeks until basketball
starts. Yeah, I guess it did.

511
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,760
Listen, I got a split.

512
00:29:20,020 --> 00:29:20,999
Hot date.

513
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,160
In the middle of the afternoon?

514
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:23,940
Pool, ma 'am.

515
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,800
Can you come over tonight and help me
with the treasury receipts from the

516
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,140
club? I'm sort of desperate.

517
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:31,120
Sure. I'll call you. Okay.

518
00:29:31,390 --> 00:29:34,590
This is how they work in that Danica
McKellar is a math genius.

519
00:29:41,950 --> 00:29:46,190
I had a hunch the casting of this movie
was done from a concession stand line.

520
00:29:49,050 --> 00:29:50,050
Yep,

521
00:29:50,950 --> 00:29:51,950
whistle works.

522
00:29:56,070 --> 00:29:57,730
Where's the coach? We're ready to start
the next game.

523
00:29:58,270 --> 00:30:00,610
I don't know. I haven't seen him since
we won the last game.

524
00:30:02,190 --> 00:30:03,630
Who will berate the children?

525
00:30:04,430 --> 00:30:05,430
Awesome. Awesome.

526
00:30:05,510 --> 00:30:07,990
Y 'all were great. Y 'all were so good.
So good.

527
00:30:12,870 --> 00:30:14,750
We're alone over here for some reason.

528
00:30:16,190 --> 00:30:17,210
Craig was right.

529
00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:20,230
It takes more than a mean coach to
affect my kid.

530
00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:30,790
The wail of a mother realizing her kid's
team progressed to the finals so she

531
00:30:30,790 --> 00:30:31,830
has to come back tomorrow.

532
00:30:33,830 --> 00:30:37,050
I just realized I have bad head.

533
00:30:37,450 --> 00:30:39,910
Bernice, get Dr. Korda and keep the kids
away.

534
00:30:40,510 --> 00:30:42,430
Right. Bernice, now.

535
00:30:42,810 --> 00:30:46,670
Jen, put your windbreaker on the
bleacher so we have a seat for the next

536
00:30:48,830 --> 00:30:49,870
What the hell?

537
00:30:51,790 --> 00:30:54,310
He wore cufflinks with Under Armour.

538
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:06,340
And before I knew it, I was hiding my
husband's involvement in a crime scene.

539
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,220
Oh, is precious baby too good for that?

540
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:18,820
What was Craig Cufflink doing here?
Could he have

541
00:31:18,820 --> 00:31:22,700
beaten the coach so brutally? That he
lost to Cufflink, the ungrateful jerk?

542
00:31:22,820 --> 00:31:23,820
Who's the person to the body?

543
00:31:25,220 --> 00:31:26,220
Thank you.

544
00:31:27,460 --> 00:31:28,460
Oh, no.

545
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:30,320
Why him?

546
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,860
Why now? If you remember, I'd like to
ask you a few questions. No, I never

547
00:31:33,860 --> 00:31:35,160
with Fred Savage. Hi, Rob.

548
00:31:36,140 --> 00:31:37,140
Maddie Temple.

549
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:38,700
Oh, Monroe.

550
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,760
It's Monroe now.

551
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:43,340
Right, right.

552
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,180
It's been a long time.

553
00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:48,340
You look great.

554
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:49,740
Trauma suits you.

555
00:31:50,260 --> 00:31:52,880
Maybe someone else should question me,
huh?

556
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:54,720
I'm okay.

557
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,260
If you're okay.

558
00:31:58,660 --> 00:31:59,660
I'm fine.

559
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,020
Okay, first question.

560
00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:03,060
Did you ever listen to my mixtape?

561
00:32:05,220 --> 00:32:07,980
Did you see anyone go to the bleachers
besides Joseph Rivera?

562
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:12,020
No, but anyone could have gone. He
smoked there all the time. Everyone knew

563
00:32:12,020 --> 00:32:14,820
that. Oh, thank God the bike cop is
there.

564
00:32:15,860 --> 00:32:18,680
Did you hear anything? Any fighting
noises?

565
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,780
No, but with all the kids in commotion,
it was hard to hear anything distinctly.

566
00:32:22,860 --> 00:32:25,400
No, wait. I heard pow, wap, and zowie.

567
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,560
There are a lot of people more qualified
to answer that than myself.

568
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,220
She destroyed him with her razor -sharp
sardonic wit.

569
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,420
You know, Mark Montgomery's on this
case.

570
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,060
Don't you have a criminal justice class
at the university?

571
00:32:40,580 --> 00:32:46,540
Yeah. Is this sexual tension or I ran
into you at the airport talk?

572
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:48,100
Am I done?

573
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,560
I feel like I haven't seen you in years.

574
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:53,640
Meanwhile, three other soccer coaches
have been murdered.

575
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:59,460
You know, I miss you hanging out at the
precinct, bugging us with all your

576
00:32:59,460 --> 00:33:04,180
questions. Who snapped my bra? Who
pinched my butt? Do we have paperclips?

577
00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:10,520
That was a long time ago, Rob.

578
00:33:12,620 --> 00:33:13,680
My kids are waiting.

579
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,640
I did it again. Too creepy, too soon.

580
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,260
Yes, there's a story about Rob.

581
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,840
But I don't have time for that right
now. I have to practice my EMDR.

582
00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:34,760
Hey, Tyler, it's Maddie Monroe. I'm just
looking for Craig. Is he around?

583
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,260
He's blonde and bland.

584
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:38,800
Really?

585
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:40,840
Not since when?

586
00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:47,740
Okay, no, no, no, everything's fine. I
just probably... Did she know that

587
00:33:47,740 --> 00:33:50,720
don't keep track of other pilots off
-duty?

588
00:33:54,570 --> 00:33:55,570
Got it?

589
00:33:55,850 --> 00:33:56,850
Yes, Daddy.

590
00:33:57,770 --> 00:34:00,650
Did you see my goal?

591
00:34:01,770 --> 00:34:03,750
I saw both your goals, sweetie. You were
wonderful.

592
00:34:03,990 --> 00:34:05,530
I only scored one goal.

593
00:34:05,990 --> 00:34:07,590
Yep, Texas back sweat.

594
00:34:08,050 --> 00:34:10,770
Listen, we're going to go to the
hospital and check up on the coach,

595
00:34:11,389 --> 00:34:12,389
Right now?

596
00:34:14,190 --> 00:34:15,690
What was the brand of the bike?

597
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,719
Are these sick people going to get
better? Well, it all comes down to

598
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:26,719
codes.

599
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:32,260
Are you guys going to be okay here in
the hallway?

600
00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:34,340
In this very busy public hospital?

601
00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:36,480
Okay, Tara, watch your brother. I'll be
right back.

602
00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:37,578
I want to go.

603
00:34:37,580 --> 00:34:38,840
I don't want you being violent.

604
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,440
I can't be with my video games.

605
00:34:42,159 --> 00:34:43,179
I will see you again.

606
00:34:43,420 --> 00:34:46,480
Bye. I'm going to do my violence and
I'll be right out.

607
00:34:58,860 --> 00:35:00,820
I just wanted to stop by and see how
things were going.

608
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,540
Thank you, Maddie.

609
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:04,440
How's he doing?

610
00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:05,419
Still dead.

611
00:35:05,420 --> 00:35:08,820
Well, the doctors are still running
tests, so we have to wait and see.

612
00:35:09,220 --> 00:35:10,220
Hi.

613
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,040
Is the man going to die? Stay in the
hallway. Mom, I tried.

614
00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:17,360
Take your brother to the vending machine
and keep him busy for two minutes.

615
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,560
Okay.

616
00:35:18,980 --> 00:35:19,980
Get rid of Snickers.

617
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:21,360
Go ahead.

618
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,140
Sorry about that. It's okay.

619
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:30,520
How's Tara doing?

620
00:35:30,580 --> 00:35:32,300
Pretty pumped about no practice.

621
00:35:33,180 --> 00:35:36,240
This is the first time she's ever known
someone who got seriously hurt.

622
00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:39,980
How did this happen, Linda? Who could
have done this?

623
00:35:40,260 --> 00:35:41,260
I don't know.

624
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:42,960
Maybe... What?

625
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:47,460
My husband is a man who has a way of
letting things get away from him. How do

626
00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:48,259
you mean?

627
00:35:48,260 --> 00:35:49,260
Knock, knock.

628
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,900
Oh, hi, Dr. Korda. That's our patient.

629
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:53,520
Dead. The same.

630
00:35:54,260 --> 00:35:55,740
Were you assigned to Coach Rivera?

631
00:35:56,750 --> 00:36:00,750
I signed in solely so I could watch over
him. I don't want anything happening to

632
00:36:00,750 --> 00:36:01,750
our girl's coach.

633
00:36:01,930 --> 00:36:02,930
So how's he doing?

634
00:36:04,350 --> 00:36:06,230
Until the tests come back, we won't know
for sure.

635
00:36:06,710 --> 00:36:08,510
Well, you certainly are taking an
interest.

636
00:36:08,930 --> 00:36:11,870
It's like you're a doctor or something.
Joseph is a member of our community.

637
00:36:13,210 --> 00:36:14,210
He deserves it.

638
00:36:14,330 --> 00:36:15,990
Well, I appreciate your concern.

639
00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:19,890
You know, Revere reminds me of myself
when I was in college.

640
00:36:20,110 --> 00:36:22,030
I was a peewee soccer coach major.

641
00:36:22,250 --> 00:36:23,250
Everything happened to the team.

642
00:36:23,670 --> 00:36:25,550
He is going to be all right, right?

643
00:36:26,860 --> 00:36:31,100
The next few hours will tell us more.
Right now, he's sedated to prevent brain

644
00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:35,540
swelling. About time. That guy has such
a big ego. Hopefully, when he wakes up,

645
00:36:35,580 --> 00:36:38,140
we can ask him about his assailant.
Wait, hopefully.

646
00:36:39,260 --> 00:36:42,260
Hopefully. Calm down, Linda. He's in
good hands.

647
00:36:43,420 --> 00:36:44,420
I know.

648
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,700
I know. Thank you. I'm sorry. There's no
need to apologize.

649
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:49,600
Paging Dr.

650
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,140
Condescension. Paging Dr.

651
00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:53,520
Condescension. Thank you.

652
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:55,660
I'll check back later, Linda.

653
00:37:01,900 --> 00:37:05,180
His coma results in him being the best
actor in the movie.

654
00:37:08,420 --> 00:37:09,420
Poor woman.

655
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:10,920
I'm going to check the MRI.

656
00:37:11,860 --> 00:37:14,740
I'll see you later, Maddie. It was good
of you to stop by.

657
00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:16,920
Bring a Whitman sampler the next time.

658
00:37:18,340 --> 00:37:19,340
Hi, Kathy.

659
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:20,400
What are you doing here?

660
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:21,598
What am I doing here?

661
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,240
I do my community service hours at the
hospital once a week.

662
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,180
I also steal pain medication.

663
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:28,640
Is that Coach Rivera?

664
00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:30,320
Yeah. How's he doing?

665
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,520
They don't know yet. Don't know yet.

666
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:33,760
This is awful.

667
00:37:34,140 --> 00:37:36,800
I can't imagine who could have done
this. Do you have any ideas?

668
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:38,520
Who knows?

669
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:40,440
But it is peculiar to me.

670
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,840
You think he would have been able to
handle it? Flowers were delivered

671
00:37:44,540 --> 00:37:46,400
What? Just got over with.

672
00:37:47,740 --> 00:37:49,920
Doctor, can somebody, something's
happened.

673
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:52,360
Oh, Mary Jo, something's happened. This
is awesome.

674
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,080
Finally.

675
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,480
I'm calling Code Blue. Code Blue,
everyone.

676
00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:57,700
What happened?

677
00:37:57,860 --> 00:38:01,400
I don't know. The alarm went off and all
of a sudden... Well, they're saying

678
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,700
code blue, but it's hard to know what
that might mean.

679
00:38:06,060 --> 00:38:07,060
Let's give Abby.

680
00:38:08,180 --> 00:38:09,680
Please tell me I didn't do this.

681
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000
Just wait there.

682
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:13,540
And we're back.

683
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,200
But the coach isn't.

684
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,920
Very difficult for me to watch because
the same thing happened to my grandpa.

685
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,020
was cast in a fourth -rate TV movie.

686
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:38,680
Does anyone object to calling this? I
object to calling this Inspector Mom.

687
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,260
It's a really stupid title.

688
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,680
Oh, I was hoping that beep would go on
for the rest of the movie.

689
00:38:50,540 --> 00:38:53,260
We've done everything we can, but he's
not responding.

690
00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:55,120
Basically, it's his fault.

691
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:57,380
Sorry, he's gone.

692
00:39:01,540 --> 00:39:02,540
Sorry.

693
00:39:03,220 --> 00:39:06,640
Take comfort that his medical debt will
always keep him in your memory.

694
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:15,600
And she takes the turn as wide as
Oklahoma.

695
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,220
Greg, I need you. Please call me.

696
00:39:18,710 --> 00:39:19,990
And tell me you're not a criminal.

697
00:39:21,050 --> 00:39:23,210
Nate, how'd you like to sleep over at
Erin's house tonight?

698
00:39:23,490 --> 00:39:25,650
Okay. What about you, Tara? You want to
stay with Maria?

699
00:39:26,250 --> 00:39:28,350
Yeah. Stop the grief for now.

700
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:32,830
Um, stay in the car a minute, guys.

701
00:39:33,110 --> 00:39:34,810
Well, it's still moving. Why wouldn't
we?

702
00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:39,850
Renee! Hey!

703
00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:42,170
Hello,

704
00:39:42,390 --> 00:39:43,390
Maddie.

705
00:39:44,070 --> 00:39:45,070
Stay in the car, okay?

706
00:39:47,310 --> 00:39:49,310
How about my permanently stunned
expression?

707
00:39:50,510 --> 00:39:52,770
Well, here goes Donnie's Greek salad.

708
00:39:53,470 --> 00:39:54,710
What do I owe the pleasure?

709
00:39:55,530 --> 00:39:56,870
I just didn't know if you'd heard.

710
00:39:57,130 --> 00:39:58,710
Sam Smith's new album.

711
00:39:59,090 --> 00:40:00,090
About Judge Rivera?

712
00:40:00,210 --> 00:40:01,830
Oh, yeah, what a shame, huh?

713
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:04,970
He died in the hospital about an hour
ago.

714
00:40:06,510 --> 00:40:07,510
Dear Lord.

715
00:40:07,990 --> 00:40:10,470
Can you think of anyone who would have
held a grudge against him?

716
00:40:11,350 --> 00:40:12,390
A grudge?

717
00:40:14,570 --> 00:40:17,670
Are you talking about Donnie? No, I'm
talking about Jeff.

718
00:40:18,010 --> 00:40:21,590
And he had every right to be, but Donnie
could never hurt anyone.

719
00:40:23,930 --> 00:40:26,730
Karen, he's the one with the temper
problem.

720
00:40:27,270 --> 00:40:30,950
Karen. He's been out of control since he
split up with Phillip.

721
00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,150
True, but why would he lose his temper
over this?

722
00:40:33,470 --> 00:40:34,710
Maria was a star player.

723
00:40:34,930 --> 00:40:36,090
There was also that league scandal.

724
00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:41,410
Scandal? I overheard him talking to
Donnie once about how angry he was. When

725
00:40:41,410 --> 00:40:42,470
they canceled Keenan.

726
00:40:46,420 --> 00:40:48,460
Bernice, if you know something, can you
talk to the police?

727
00:40:48,820 --> 00:40:50,340
Do as I say, not as I do.

728
00:40:51,140 --> 00:40:56,420
Nothing. There's certainly no reason to
attack Coach Rivera that brutally.

729
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:58,160
Viciously, maybe.

730
00:40:58,180 --> 00:40:59,240
I gotta get back to the kids.

731
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:00,720
See you later. Later.

732
00:41:03,860 --> 00:41:06,880
She didn't seem like someone who just
lost her lover.

733
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,720
And there are at least 50 ways to do
that.

734
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:18,880
I gotta act again.

735
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:23,640
Hey, what's up, Tara?

736
00:41:24,940 --> 00:41:25,940
What's up, Nate?

737
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:27,439
Bye, kid.

738
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,760
My God, how I love pawning them off.

739
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:31,440
Hey, Terrence.

740
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,480
What's up, Maddie?

741
00:41:33,300 --> 00:41:34,300
Dropping off the crew, huh?

742
00:41:35,100 --> 00:41:36,100
Thanks for having him.

743
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,280
Not a problem.

744
00:41:38,420 --> 00:41:40,280
Yeah, I can't believe the coach didn't
make it.

745
00:41:41,100 --> 00:41:42,100
So you're hurt, huh?

746
00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:44,880
I got the call from Harriet Corder.

747
00:41:46,470 --> 00:41:47,470
Yeah, I feel bad.

748
00:41:47,710 --> 00:41:49,450
I ate some undercooked pork.

749
00:41:49,670 --> 00:41:50,670
And for the girls, of course.

750
00:41:50,950 --> 00:41:52,650
Do you have any ideas on who could have
done this?

751
00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:57,830
Is this really the most effective way to
solve mysteries? Just asking your

752
00:41:57,830 --> 00:41:59,190
neighbors who they think did it?

753
00:41:59,970 --> 00:42:01,210
Well... What?

754
00:42:01,530 --> 00:42:04,530
There was this talk that he was betting
on the team.

755
00:42:04,750 --> 00:42:05,870
What team? The kids?

756
00:42:06,070 --> 00:42:07,870
Yeah. Oh, that's a great idea!

757
00:42:08,210 --> 00:42:11,210
How can you generate enough interest in
the outcome of a pee -wee -wee game to

758
00:42:11,210 --> 00:42:12,029
make any money?

759
00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:14,630
Believe me, people down at the crossbar,
they'll bet on anything.

760
00:42:15,470 --> 00:42:16,470
So I heard.

761
00:42:16,510 --> 00:42:18,410
This is the face of a man who's lying.

762
00:42:18,690 --> 00:42:20,250
Just in case some of you are curious.

763
00:42:20,790 --> 00:42:22,890
Thanks, but I've seen plenty. Terrence,
how do you know all this?

764
00:42:24,450 --> 00:42:27,130
All I know is a local guy around here
named Ralph Zender.

765
00:42:27,650 --> 00:42:30,470
He's a hustler that would take a bet on
his grandmother's bingo game.

766
00:42:31,530 --> 00:42:33,990
Terrence, come on. Me.

767
00:42:34,190 --> 00:42:36,110
I was the kid on Small Wonder.

768
00:42:36,330 --> 00:42:38,390
Oh, no, wait. I mean... Don't tell
Jackie, okay?

769
00:42:39,710 --> 00:42:41,990
I used to be in the sports betting a few
years ago.

770
00:42:42,470 --> 00:42:45,820
But... I gave it up after I dropped a
couple thousand at the Super Bowl.

771
00:42:46,220 --> 00:42:49,340
Are you serious to think that Coach
Revere was betting on his own team?

772
00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:53,500
Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure I saw
Ralph beat up old Jalopy at the game.

773
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,640
Someone beat up the Jalopy, too?

774
00:42:55,940 --> 00:42:57,060
Are there any suspects?

775
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,360
Incredibly low thing to do, though.

776
00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:01,060
Why didn't you ever file a complaint?

777
00:43:01,860 --> 00:43:02,860
Not my style, man.

778
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:08,540
Besides, I didn't think it was worth
killing a guy over. But I did it anyway.

779
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,180
How's Craig taking the news?

780
00:43:13,060 --> 00:43:14,060
Oh. Fine.

781
00:43:14,380 --> 00:43:17,440
I should ask Craig who he thinks did it.
Thanks again.

782
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:19,320
No problem.

783
00:43:20,380 --> 00:43:23,340
I better get out of here before the kids
come looking for me.

784
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:39,020
I had to talk to Craig. I couldn't
handle any more of this doubt.

785
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,920
What if it got into a fight with a coach
and it got out of control?

786
00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:45,880
If it's a fight, then technically it's
already out of control.

787
00:43:49,980 --> 00:43:52,960
Someone please invent GPS. I'm so lost.

788
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:58,320
Nate Oatmeal, I thought I got that...
You know that feeling when any little

789
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,320
thing makes you want to cry?

790
00:43:59,860 --> 00:44:01,500
Not until I watch this movie.

791
00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:13,170
What is it they say about not being
forced to testify against your own

792
00:44:13,390 --> 00:44:14,430
Get divorced immediately?

793
00:44:17,090 --> 00:44:17,470
Oh,

794
00:44:17,470 --> 00:44:24,690
my

795
00:44:24,690 --> 00:44:25,690
God. He's home.

796
00:44:25,730 --> 00:44:26,730
Kevin McAllister!

797
00:44:27,050 --> 00:44:29,130
Craig! Craig! I'm in here, honey.

798
00:44:29,410 --> 00:44:30,410
Where's the kids?

799
00:44:30,450 --> 00:44:33,010
They're at the Ormond's. I've been
calling you. Where have you been?

800
00:44:33,430 --> 00:44:34,750
I just got your messages.

801
00:44:35,110 --> 00:44:37,270
Answer me. Where have you been all this
time?

802
00:44:37,610 --> 00:44:39,290
I've only been gone two or three hours.

803
00:44:39,690 --> 00:44:43,390
Did you go to the soccer field? Are you
having an affair with it? I found your

804
00:44:43,390 --> 00:44:44,390
cuff link.

805
00:44:44,490 --> 00:44:46,470
Yeah, I went to the soccer field.

806
00:44:47,130 --> 00:44:51,490
I saw Coach Revere, even though I
promised I wouldn't. It meant nothing.

807
00:44:51,690 --> 00:44:55,070
God, just tell me exactly what happened.

808
00:44:55,790 --> 00:44:56,790
Nothing happened.

809
00:44:57,570 --> 00:45:00,930
He took a swing at me and I hit him. So
quite a lot happened.

810
00:45:03,130 --> 00:45:04,130
He's dead, Craig.

811
00:45:05,550 --> 00:45:06,550
What?

812
00:45:07,020 --> 00:45:09,980
We found him right after the first game.
His head was bashed in by the

813
00:45:09,980 --> 00:45:12,160
megaphone. And that is not funny.

814
00:45:12,740 --> 00:45:13,780
I didn't kill anybody.

815
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,560
He was just fine when I left him this
morning. Dead in the bushes. This

816
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:19,840
Yes.

817
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:21,440
Before the game?

818
00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:23,920
Yes. What time? Around 9 .30.

819
00:45:24,900 --> 00:45:26,780
And that was it? You didn't see him
again afterwards?

820
00:45:27,540 --> 00:45:30,320
No, I swear I... Swear on Coach Rivera's
life.

821
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,920
I need a glass of water.

822
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:34,840
Just start talking.

823
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:39,660
Uh, well, the weather's been pretty
chilly for March, and, um... And that's

824
00:45:39,660 --> 00:45:40,660
you dropped the cuff link?

825
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:43,960
I guess. I don't know. Anyway, he wasn't
there, and that's when I saw him

826
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:44,960
loading up his equipment.

827
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:50,200
Vera, you can say and do whatever you
want to me, but you respect my daughter.

828
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,700
Two male lions put on a show of virility
at a kid's soccer game.

829
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,860
Start it. Respect!

830
00:45:57,860 --> 00:46:01,480
means by calling her by her first name,
which is Tara. Which is short for

831
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:02,480
Tarantula.

832
00:46:03,980 --> 00:46:04,980
Ooh,

833
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,480
that air punch really connected.

834
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:14,720
And then what?

835
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:16,880
I went to work.

836
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,840
Tyler could tell I wasn't myself, so I
went to the gym.

837
00:46:20,529 --> 00:46:23,850
And you didn't have your cell phone with
you? No, I left it in my locker. And

838
00:46:23,850 --> 00:46:25,170
now it smells like my sock.

839
00:46:25,470 --> 00:46:27,930
I worked out again. I was bringing
myself down.

840
00:46:28,990 --> 00:46:30,210
Did anyone see you at the gym?

841
00:46:30,630 --> 00:46:32,970
I don't know. It was pretty empty. Like
my personality.

842
00:46:34,410 --> 00:46:37,230
You don't think they'd think I'm a
suspect, do you?

843
00:46:37,590 --> 00:46:38,590
What do you think, Craig?

844
00:46:38,810 --> 00:46:41,750
Your DNA is bound to show up all over
that guy if they run those kind of

845
00:46:41,970 --> 00:46:43,890
I gotta get different DNA quick.

846
00:46:44,290 --> 00:46:44,848
I don't know.

847
00:46:44,850 --> 00:46:46,630
The first thing I want to do is get rid
of those cufflinks.

848
00:46:46,930 --> 00:46:47,930
Give me the other one.

849
00:46:49,580 --> 00:46:52,200
Where's the other cuff link, Craig? You
didn't leave it there, did you? I don't

850
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,760
know. Charge him with dopiness. Where
are you going?

851
00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:56,360
I have to figure out who killed Rivera.

852
00:46:57,380 --> 00:46:58,380
Wait a minute.

853
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:02,040
I'm doing a Dallas, New Mexico flight
tonight, and I won't be back for two

854
00:47:02,740 --> 00:47:05,460
You know, I don't like the idea of you
getting involved in anything while I'm

855
00:47:05,460 --> 00:47:06,980
gone, much less any other time. Why?

856
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:12,840
Can't you just let the cuffs hang? Uh
-oh, fist acting. No, and I love you,

857
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:14,660
honey, but this time you don't get a
vote.

858
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:16,200
Have a good flight.

859
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,400
Live, laugh, love, Craig.

860
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:28,160
Becca. Okay, Becca. I got a case I need
to solve for real. You with me? You

861
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:29,640
kidding? Still got the badge?

862
00:47:29,980 --> 00:47:31,580
Yes, ma 'am. You're right over.

863
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:33,640
Clark can't return.

864
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,480
I love the strong, independent woman
haircut.

865
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:40,880
Totally.

866
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,060
I've never seen a pan featuring a pair
of capris.

867
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:52,460
The crossbar.

868
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,860
It's the dirty little place where
fathers like to go and pretend they're

869
00:47:55,860 --> 00:47:57,100
young, wild, and dangerous.

870
00:47:57,340 --> 00:47:59,160
Translation, play pool drunk.

871
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,260
Sorry, Craig, not now.

872
00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:09,240
If only she had a pair of glasses to
remove.

873
00:48:13,260 --> 00:48:14,260
Hey, sugar.

874
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,960
When did Southern equal productive?

875
00:48:17,740 --> 00:48:18,880
Can you help me?

876
00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:21,550
Depends. He's looking.

877
00:48:21,830 --> 00:48:22,830
Ouch.

878
00:48:24,010 --> 00:48:25,010
See,

879
00:48:26,330 --> 00:48:32,610
Ralph has a very good friend who wants
to give him a very good birthday

880
00:48:33,190 --> 00:48:36,490
Louboutin. You can just leave it here.
I'll get it to him.

881
00:48:37,530 --> 00:48:38,590
You're looking at it, honey.

882
00:48:39,050 --> 00:48:41,930
Yeah, I tried this with Mike once and he
wanted golf clubs.

883
00:48:42,150 --> 00:48:43,890
Oh, yeah.

884
00:48:44,850 --> 00:48:48,690
Okay, he's in the back room under the
red sign.

885
00:48:49,299 --> 00:48:50,320
Thank you, baby doll.

886
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Is that a Cheerio on her ass?

887
00:49:01,140 --> 00:49:02,660
Yeah, I can smell my own pits.

888
00:49:02,860 --> 00:49:03,860
I better put this on.

889
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:14,940
Detective Benson.

890
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:16,118
Ralph Bender?

891
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,120
What the hell?

892
00:49:18,190 --> 00:49:20,730
I'm not interested in making trouble for
you with everything you've got going

893
00:49:20,730 --> 00:49:24,450
on. I just want to find out more about
the attack on Coach Revere this morning.

894
00:49:25,010 --> 00:49:26,550
What if I ain't got nothing to say?

895
00:49:26,910 --> 00:49:28,070
Okay, Margaritaville.

896
00:49:28,350 --> 00:49:30,110
But then things get complicated.

897
00:49:30,890 --> 00:49:31,890
What do you want?

898
00:49:32,710 --> 00:49:34,990
I want to know what you saw this morning
at the soccer field.

899
00:49:36,030 --> 00:49:38,410
Hey, I didn't see nothing on the soccer
field.

900
00:49:38,730 --> 00:49:43,550
Matter of fact, the first chance I got,
I hightailed it. Yeah, they were losing

901
00:49:43,550 --> 00:49:44,550
in a big way.

902
00:49:44,590 --> 00:49:46,850
Or do things have to get complicated?

903
00:49:49,110 --> 00:49:50,150
Well, actually.

904
00:49:50,410 --> 00:49:51,410
Hey, that was easy.

905
00:49:51,950 --> 00:49:55,790
What happened was, one second, Rivera's
there talking to me.

906
00:49:56,090 --> 00:49:59,850
Then all of a sudden, this gal, she
comes running up, and she's crying and

907
00:49:59,850 --> 00:50:04,630
carrying on and yelling. She's yelling
at me. She wants me to leave. Oh, my dad

908
00:50:04,630 --> 00:50:06,310
telling stories faster.

909
00:50:06,710 --> 00:50:10,870
And I come back a few minutes later, and
this same gal, she's out there in the

910
00:50:10,870 --> 00:50:14,890
middle of the parking lot, and she's
yelling and screaming at another guy.

911
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:18,800
And I looked down on the ground there,
and there's Rivera.

912
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:21,580
And somebody done knocked a hole in his
head.

913
00:50:21,820 --> 00:50:24,160
A boo -boo. Would you recognize the two
again if you saw them?

914
00:50:24,860 --> 00:50:25,860
Hell, if I know.

915
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,340
Didn't you get a look at their faces?

916
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:32,700
Lady, I'm paid to forget people's faces.

917
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:35,660
Any description at all? Hair color?

918
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:36,880
Height? Anything?

919
00:50:36,940 --> 00:50:38,400
My husband, perhaps.

920
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,500
Maybe the guy was, I think he was
muscular. I don't know.

921
00:50:44,490 --> 00:50:46,630
I told you I keep my head down a lot.

922
00:50:47,850 --> 00:50:49,290
What's this all about anyway?

923
00:50:49,890 --> 00:50:51,490
Paint colors. Rivera died this
afternoon.

924
00:50:52,510 --> 00:50:53,830
Holy mother of pearl.

925
00:50:56,730 --> 00:51:00,630
I got some phone calls to make, lady,
and I told you everything I know anyway.

926
00:51:00,990 --> 00:51:03,230
Except state capitals. I know them all.

927
00:51:03,990 --> 00:51:07,150
Oh, sure. That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to go to the police. Yep.

928
00:51:09,470 --> 00:51:11,770
Hey, I thought you was the police.

929
00:51:12,170 --> 00:51:13,530
And we thought you was smart.

930
00:51:19,140 --> 00:51:20,140
You're not going to say anything.

931
00:51:20,580 --> 00:51:22,900
Because I got more on you than you got
on me. Robot.

932
00:51:30,820 --> 00:51:35,100
Sponsored by Toyota Sienna. The official
van for wives covering up their

933
00:51:35,100 --> 00:51:36,100
husband's evidence.

934
00:51:42,580 --> 00:51:45,040
I'm sick of being the Easter Bunny.
Where's my cuff link?

935
00:51:55,970 --> 00:51:56,970
Yeah,

936
00:52:00,570 --> 00:52:01,750
I think she might be projecting.

937
00:52:07,410 --> 00:52:13,390
Or a minion.

938
00:52:18,970 --> 00:52:22,750
How else do you think I'd stay all
-knowing? See if you can get Revere's

939
00:52:22,750 --> 00:52:23,950
statements from the last few months.

940
00:52:24,450 --> 00:52:25,450
Follow the money.

941
00:52:26,310 --> 00:52:28,510
Imagine having followable money.

942
00:52:30,010 --> 00:52:31,010
Right.

943
00:52:37,370 --> 00:52:39,370
Maybe the killer is repenting.

944
00:52:44,150 --> 00:52:46,030
It was really sweet of you to come,
Sandra.

945
00:52:46,290 --> 00:52:47,290
Are you kidding?

946
00:52:47,610 --> 00:52:49,130
Who could pass up drama like this?

947
00:52:49,670 --> 00:52:51,130
Coach Rivera, clearly.

948
00:52:52,590 --> 00:52:56,670
A lot of the fathers are still mad,
saying they're glad to see him go.

949
00:52:57,310 --> 00:52:58,770
At his own funeral service?

950
00:52:59,950 --> 00:53:01,950
I wonder who could have done it.

951
00:53:02,690 --> 00:53:03,730
XOXO Gossip Girl.

952
00:53:05,030 --> 00:53:06,910
Do you think the murderer could be here?

953
00:53:07,910 --> 00:53:10,790
Actually, would you watch Tara for a
minute? I want to talk to a few people.

954
00:53:10,970 --> 00:53:14,690
Okay, but before I forget again, I
really need you to help me with those

955
00:53:14,690 --> 00:53:15,690
receipts tonight.

956
00:53:15,770 --> 00:53:19,690
If my math is right, and it probably
isn't, the Garden Club is hemorrhaging

957
00:53:19,690 --> 00:53:21,630
cash. Apply pressure.

958
00:53:22,550 --> 00:53:27,130
I know, but please, I'm supposed to give
them the quarterly accounting summary,

959
00:53:27,210 --> 00:53:30,570
and oh my God, I can't believe those
words just came out of my mouth.

960
00:53:31,190 --> 00:53:35,390
Sandra. Your earrings look cheap. We'll
talk about it later. Later is better.

961
00:53:36,730 --> 00:53:37,730
Come on, Tara.

962
00:53:42,650 --> 00:53:45,110
Oh, here comes Dollar Tree Patrick
Swaythe.

963
00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:59,290
Raw sexual repulsion.

964
00:54:06,450 --> 00:54:12,610
Business casual?

965
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,140
Unfortunately, he's in flight until
tomorrow.

966
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:17,800
We'll catch him next time.

967
00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:20,060
So it's nothing urgent?

968
00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:21,319
Just murder.

969
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:24,760
I was just going to ask him what he
knows about this fight at the bar.

970
00:54:24,980 --> 00:54:25,980
Oh, right.

971
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:28,680
Probably nothing.

972
00:54:28,780 --> 00:54:29,780
Yeah.

973
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:34,360
Just have him call me, okay? Okay. I
think she wants to call him.

974
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:42,720
Rob, is your cell phone number still the
same? From when we... Yeah.

975
00:54:43,180 --> 00:54:44,180
Banged.

976
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:54,820
She's always wanted to try, Dalton.

977
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,860
Why are you asking questions about my
husband?

978
00:55:02,140 --> 00:55:03,860
What? Don't act surprised.

979
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,620
I've heard that you've been asking
people why they'd want to kill my

980
00:55:08,910 --> 00:55:10,930
I've been trying to help piece
everything together.

981
00:55:11,270 --> 00:55:13,570
I'm more of a hindrance than help, TBH.

982
00:55:14,210 --> 00:55:15,550
Well, not really.

983
00:55:15,810 --> 00:55:16,930
Do you or don't you?

984
00:55:18,030 --> 00:55:19,450
Just answer me honestly.

985
00:55:19,850 --> 00:55:21,030
You at least tell me that.

986
00:55:22,390 --> 00:55:23,970
Yes, I do.

987
00:55:24,210 --> 00:55:26,650
Well, anyway, how's everything going
otherwise?

988
00:55:27,690 --> 00:55:30,470
I know that your husband was...
Otherwise than his dad.

989
00:55:30,950 --> 00:55:33,850
He looks at a bar in town.

990
00:55:34,230 --> 00:55:35,230
Yeah.

991
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:39,020
He made bets all over town. Ralph Sander
may have witnessed your husband's

992
00:55:39,020 --> 00:55:40,020
attack.

993
00:55:40,540 --> 00:55:42,260
Have the police talked to him?

994
00:55:42,780 --> 00:55:43,780
We'll make sure they do.

995
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,520
I know the detective in charge.

996
00:55:45,820 --> 00:55:50,300
He freelances gigs like this. I'm so
sorry if I hurt you or offended you by

997
00:55:50,300 --> 00:55:51,560
asking questions. Fine.

998
00:55:51,940 --> 00:55:55,300
That sounds like a Minnesota fine if I
ever heard one.

999
00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:03,000
My husband is... was a very passionate

1000
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,000
man.

1001
00:56:04,330 --> 00:56:05,710
We met when we were teenagers.

1002
00:56:06,150 --> 00:56:09,410
No one had pimples like him. Back then I
was all he saw.

1003
00:56:11,090 --> 00:56:12,450
And he was all I saw.

1004
00:56:13,770 --> 00:56:16,470
And then he injured his knee and he
couldn't play soccer anymore.

1005
00:56:16,890 --> 00:56:19,050
He was really bad at it, but still.

1006
00:56:20,010 --> 00:56:24,210
And all I wanted was a child.

1007
00:56:26,770 --> 00:56:28,430
And he couldn't give me that.

1008
00:56:28,710 --> 00:56:30,110
From a knee injury?

1009
00:56:30,550 --> 00:56:33,310
And of course he couldn't let the world
know about his weakness.

1010
00:56:36,780 --> 00:56:37,780
We couldn't adopt.

1011
00:56:38,180 --> 00:56:43,040
I just wanted a ham bun from the buffet.
We fell apart after that.

1012
00:56:44,380 --> 00:56:46,620
That's when he started seeing the other
women.

1013
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,060
Then they would call our house.

1014
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:54,580
Hold that thought. I just quick got to
tell you a cute story about my kids.

1015
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,460
She would call our house almost every
day.

1016
00:56:59,780 --> 00:57:01,720
I knew it was one of the other mothers.

1017
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,860
It sounded like Jimmy Carl Black.

1018
00:57:06,570 --> 00:57:12,450
I was afraid that I would see something
and then my emotions would get the

1019
00:57:12,450 --> 00:57:13,450
better of me.

1020
00:57:13,710 --> 00:57:15,370
Oh, Linda, I am so sorry.

1021
00:57:16,210 --> 00:57:18,130
I know he wasn't loved by many.

1022
00:57:18,450 --> 00:57:21,130
Many or any. But he was loved by me.

1023
00:57:22,990 --> 00:57:27,170
Now I have to live my life without him
and it's just so strange.

1024
00:57:28,370 --> 00:57:29,870
He was far from perfect.

1025
00:57:30,290 --> 00:57:35,070
But he was the best ineffectual,
abusive, spermless adulterer he could

1026
00:57:36,460 --> 00:57:37,860
And family is family.

1027
00:57:39,420 --> 00:57:46,340
Maddie, please help me find who did this
to him. I will. Just

1028
00:57:46,340 --> 00:57:49,820
as soon as I can. I'm really busy with
beauty club right now.

1029
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,460
Becca, I'm still at the funeral.

1030
00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,220
Oh, you need to hear this.

1031
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:01,820
Guess what just came through for
tomorrow's obituaries?

1032
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:03,040
Oh, no.

1033
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,060
Yep. Ralph Bender.

1034
00:58:05,890 --> 00:58:09,710
Dead. I don't have another sexy dress to
wear to a funeral.

1035
00:58:13,150 --> 00:58:16,370
Tara, honey, Sandra's coming over this
afternoon to watch you guys.

1036
00:58:16,670 --> 00:58:20,170
Yeah. I have a few things to take care
of, but I won't be long, okay?

1037
00:58:21,010 --> 00:58:27,110
Okay. Uh, hey, you didn't kill Coach
Rivera by any chance, did you?

1038
00:58:28,910 --> 00:58:31,950
Do you want to talk about Coach Rivera?

1039
00:58:32,930 --> 00:58:33,930
I don't know.

1040
00:58:34,670 --> 00:58:37,530
Okay, I'll start. What a jerk. In short.

1041
00:58:37,890 --> 00:58:38,910
Just weird.

1042
00:58:39,270 --> 00:58:43,970
I mean, he was dead one second, and then
he was gone because someone was angry

1043
00:58:43,970 --> 00:58:44,970
at him.

1044
00:58:45,250 --> 00:58:46,850
You know, it's scary, honey.

1045
00:58:47,170 --> 00:58:49,450
Things like this happen very rarely.

1046
00:58:49,770 --> 00:58:53,210
In other countries. People who would
never hurt anyone.

1047
00:58:53,950 --> 00:58:56,930
But what if it happens to you or Danny?

1048
00:58:57,190 --> 00:58:58,970
I don't want you to die.

1049
00:58:59,290 --> 00:59:01,470
But if you do, can I watch more TV?

1050
00:59:01,690 --> 00:59:03,290
You don't have to worry about that.

1051
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,560
Daddy and I will always be here for you.

1052
00:59:07,900 --> 00:59:08,900
I promise.

1053
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:11,260
Yeah. Okay.

1054
00:59:12,220 --> 00:59:17,100
See, now this is my kind of acting gig.
Laying in bed, easy to memorize lines.

1055
00:59:18,460 --> 00:59:19,560
You want some wine?

1056
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:21,120
Maybe a sandwich?

1057
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,200
No. You use that weird sawdust bread.

1058
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:26,400
Okay.

1059
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:29,320
Want to help make them?

1060
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:31,160
Uh -uh.

1061
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,200
Okay. No allowance for you, then, this
week.

1062
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:38,600
Mom?

1063
00:59:39,420 --> 00:59:41,760
Yes, honey? What's going to happen to
the team?

1064
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,980
Well, your last in the league puts you
in a good position for draft pick,

1065
00:59:45,980 --> 00:59:48,320
You'll still see them, Tara.

1066
00:59:48,700 --> 00:59:49,760
I'll make sure of it.

1067
00:59:49,980 --> 00:59:50,980
Thank you, Mom.

1068
00:59:53,060 --> 00:59:54,160
Goodbye, Mother.

1069
01:00:04,110 --> 01:00:04,749
Nate, sweetie?

1070
01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,850
Yeah? Want to help me make PB andJ?

1071
01:00:07,150 --> 01:00:08,150
Yeah!

1072
01:00:09,270 --> 01:00:10,750
I guess I'll help you.

1073
01:00:11,310 --> 01:00:13,390
To try that with cleaning the gutter.

1074
01:00:18,650 --> 01:00:22,230
Who has a peanut butter nose? I do!

1075
01:00:22,630 --> 01:00:25,870
Oh, it's all fun and games until someone
has a peanut allergy.

1076
01:00:27,270 --> 01:00:28,450
Mom? Yes?

1077
01:00:28,810 --> 01:00:32,450
Do you have a peanut butter chin, Mom?

1078
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,120
How did you know? This is a peanut
butter tin.

1079
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:42,520
Do we have any other monster options
like Nutella, a Biscoff cookie spread?

1080
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:44,820
Oh, Sandra, come on.

1081
01:00:47,620 --> 01:00:51,400
She gets this kind of reaction
everywhere. Restaurant, doctor's

1082
01:00:51,580 --> 01:00:52,499
It's open.

1083
01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:53,500
Yeah.

1084
01:00:54,900 --> 01:00:56,160
Hide your lunch money.

1085
01:00:59,020 --> 01:01:02,380
What are you up to tonight anyway? You
never tell me anything.

1086
01:01:03,230 --> 01:01:05,830
Sandra, you could blackmail me for years
with what you know.

1087
01:01:06,630 --> 01:01:09,490
Sandra, do you have a peanut butter
butt?

1088
01:01:10,330 --> 01:01:11,550
God, I hope not.

1089
01:01:12,850 --> 01:01:16,390
This scene is sponsored by Jiffy and
Brazilian Butt Lift.

1090
01:01:19,230 --> 01:01:21,470
I want a peanut butter nose!

1091
01:01:24,390 --> 01:01:25,850
I'm so sorry.

1092
01:01:26,330 --> 01:01:27,970
It's a little game we play.

1093
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:29,560
Peanut butter monster.

1094
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,960
We violate people's personal space and
ruin washing machines.

1095
01:01:33,260 --> 01:01:37,080
I'm really, really sorry. Things have
been really tense, and the kids had to

1096
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:38,080
blow off some steam.

1097
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:39,820
The kids? Yeah.

1098
01:01:40,140 --> 01:01:43,680
She's like an imitation Cheryl Hines
you'd find on Canal Street.

1099
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:46,400
And besides,

1100
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,080
we both know how you can make it up to
me.

1101
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:55,040
I know, I know. The Garden Club
received... The account summary's due

1102
01:01:56,620 --> 01:01:59,940
If Danny Elfman had composed the Law and
Order music sting.

1103
01:02:07,260 --> 01:02:09,700
Blackheads and nose grease really
enhance the flavor.

1104
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:15,880
You coming in?

1105
01:02:16,140 --> 01:02:18,360
Right after I pay a visit to my old
professor.

1106
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,220
Kevin Bacon is Amy Adams in Spotlight.

1107
01:02:27,730 --> 01:02:30,370
Later, at the old professor warehouse...

1108
01:02:30,370 --> 01:02:37,310
Hi, I'm Maddie

1109
01:02:37,310 --> 01:02:38,890
Monroe, here to see Detective Mark
Montgomery.

1110
01:02:40,770 --> 01:02:41,770
Thank you.

1111
01:02:42,990 --> 01:02:45,730
Would you like one? Oh, I'm married. Oh,
you mean a cookie.

1112
01:02:51,170 --> 01:02:53,360
Is this... Instead of bribing a public
official.

1113
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,420
Yeah, I don't know. If they're oatmeal
-raised, then that's definitely a felony

1114
01:02:57,420 --> 01:02:58,420
of some sort.

1115
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:13,560
Oh, entering a cube farm is where most
of my panic attacks start.

1116
01:03:20,620 --> 01:03:21,620
Detective?

1117
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:27,500
Natty Temple, the only A -plus I ever
gave in criminal justice.

1118
01:03:28,060 --> 01:03:31,520
You still teaching once a week? Not
since I lost my best student.

1119
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:33,380
And the cookie payola. Do you have a
minute?

1120
01:03:33,980 --> 01:03:35,020
Sure, come on around.

1121
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:38,840
Fresh baked cookie?

1122
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:41,760
Oh, my wife has me on a diet.

1123
01:03:42,220 --> 01:03:44,920
And you're afraid she'll smell a peanut
butter chocolate chip cookie on your

1124
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:49,080
breath? Do not leave the theater for the
riveting possibly accepting cookie

1125
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:50,140
offering scene.

1126
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:52,760
Let's see.

1127
01:03:56,300 --> 01:03:57,360
So what brings you here?

1128
01:03:57,940 --> 01:04:00,680
Don't I have a theory about the Revere
case I wanted to share with you?

1129
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:03,880
Okay, Clarice, darling.

1130
01:04:04,900 --> 01:04:08,440
I think that Joseph Revere was killed by
the thin guy who got Ralph Zender.

1131
01:04:08,820 --> 01:04:09,820
Ralph Zender.

1132
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,120
Your bookie.

1133
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:13,320
It was a murder.

1134
01:04:13,660 --> 01:04:14,900
Did you do an autopsy?

1135
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,680
Ralph Zender was a no -good druggie.

1136
01:04:18,020 --> 01:04:20,720
He had baggies of junk all over that
pigsty of his.

1137
01:04:21,130 --> 01:04:22,130
It's just a drug overdose.

1138
01:04:22,190 --> 01:04:23,530
Everybody knows those don't matter.

1139
01:04:25,090 --> 01:04:28,210
They're a little backlogged and not a
priority.

1140
01:04:28,770 --> 01:04:32,750
Catalytic converters are being stolen in
gated communities, you know. Even a

1141
01:04:32,750 --> 01:04:36,030
little struggle. We would have opened up
a whole investigation, believe me.

1142
01:04:36,570 --> 01:04:37,570
I do.

1143
01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:41,670
And I believe if you had any information
that hadn't been released, you'd share

1144
01:04:41,670 --> 01:04:42,670
it with me.

1145
01:04:42,710 --> 01:04:45,090
Because, you know, I'm good at this
stuff and I only want to help.

1146
01:04:45,330 --> 01:04:47,990
You don't want to get the peanut butter
monster angry.

1147
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,880
Don't you remember me spending my summer
internships in this building?

1148
01:04:53,660 --> 01:04:57,280
I passed you in the hall a couple times.
I slammed you into the lockers. You

1149
01:04:57,280 --> 01:04:58,360
were all hours of the night.

1150
01:04:59,180 --> 01:05:00,480
That was off the record.

1151
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:04,200
What Rob did in his personal life is
none of my business.

1152
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,340
Except when he cracked the Coswant case.

1153
01:05:06,620 --> 01:05:08,580
Then Rob's diary was made public.

1154
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:12,440
I like solving puzzles.

1155
01:05:12,980 --> 01:05:13,980
It's fun.

1156
01:05:15,690 --> 01:05:18,910
I got exclusive coverage on the stories
when they broke, and I always let the

1157
01:05:18,910 --> 01:05:22,330
detective in charge take credit for
anything I figured out. But I never

1158
01:05:22,330 --> 01:05:23,330
Wordle.

1159
01:05:28,230 --> 01:05:32,570
There is this one thing that we can't
figure out with Rivera, but you can't

1160
01:05:32,570 --> 01:05:35,250
anyone. He drove a PT Cruiser.

1161
01:05:35,510 --> 01:05:41,010
It found poison in his bloodstream and
piercing on his neck. It's weird.

1162
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:42,249
How so?

1163
01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:45,110
They said it was the irregular, not like
a syringe mark.

1164
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:46,118
What was it from?

1165
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:47,600
That's just it. We don't know.

1166
01:05:49,140 --> 01:05:50,140
It's weird.

1167
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:51,280
Effin' weird.

1168
01:05:51,460 --> 01:05:52,840
Do they know when he was poisoned?

1169
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:56,800
It happened around the same time as his
other injuries, but we're not sure which

1170
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:57,558
came first.

1171
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:58,820
Probably the poison first.

1172
01:05:59,100 --> 01:06:00,160
Why would you say that?

1173
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,400
Why would you hit someone and then
poison them?

1174
01:06:02,780 --> 01:06:04,600
Weird. To make sure they were dead.

1175
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,320
See, if he was poisoned, then we know
for sure it was premeditated.

1176
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:11,140
Damn. And if he was poisoned first...

1177
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:14,620
It could have been a woman. Oh, she's
going to frame Becky Slater.

1178
01:06:15,220 --> 01:06:16,740
It isn't Officer Maddie.

1179
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:19,420
Haven't seen you sniffing around here
for a while.

1180
01:06:19,660 --> 01:06:23,820
Captain, we were just... Visiting. About
the weirdest stuff.

1181
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,440
Cookie?

1182
01:06:26,940 --> 01:06:30,460
Why don't you stick to the cookie sheets
and let us stick to the crime sheets,

1183
01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:31,538
okay?

1184
01:06:31,540 --> 01:06:34,800
I think that's the line they lifted from
In the Heat of the Night.

1185
01:06:41,550 --> 01:06:42,550
Hi, Rob.

1186
01:06:42,570 --> 01:06:46,130
He's three -quarters Swayze and a
quarter cup Neeson.

1187
01:06:46,670 --> 01:06:48,010
With a pinch of Pratt.

1188
01:06:54,490 --> 01:06:55,490
It's good.

1189
01:07:00,250 --> 01:07:03,130
Kids, stay in the car. Oh, wait, I
already ditched you.

1190
01:07:09,190 --> 01:07:13,150
Yes, there's a story about Scott, but
she doesn't have time to go into it

1191
01:07:13,150 --> 01:07:14,150
now.

1192
01:07:16,710 --> 01:07:18,530
Becca, any progress from Zach?

1193
01:07:18,770 --> 01:07:22,570
Yep, he's been browsing every bank from
the Caymans to Dubai, and it is weak.

1194
01:07:22,790 --> 01:07:26,730
And inadmissible. A ton of flux, huge
cash withdrawal.

1195
01:07:27,050 --> 01:07:29,270
Sounds like he was betting on a lot more
than girls' soccer.

1196
01:07:29,770 --> 01:07:34,630
First the account swings low to almost
nothing, then high, then low again, all

1197
01:07:34,630 --> 01:07:35,630
within a few weeks.

1198
01:07:35,740 --> 01:07:36,740
Dollar amount?

1199
01:07:37,180 --> 01:07:39,780
Almost nothing to high within a few
weeks.

1200
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:41,740
How high are you to high?

1201
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,200
Very good.

1202
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:49,200
He had a business on the side. Not sure
what he was selling, but Barry's Orchard

1203
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:53,560
Supply bought a lot of it. And when Zach
tried to find the owner, Barry Clarkson

1204
01:07:53,560 --> 01:07:55,440
didn't show up anywhere in the database.

1205
01:07:57,100 --> 01:07:58,100
Clarkson?

1206
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,440
Orchard Supply? Mm -hmm. Bought a few
thousand bucks worth of stuff at the

1207
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:03,388
beginning of each month.

1208
01:08:03,390 --> 01:08:05,230
When the account was high, mind you.

1209
01:08:07,590 --> 01:08:08,590
What are those?

1210
01:08:08,910 --> 01:08:09,910
Long story.

1211
01:08:12,290 --> 01:08:14,850
It's a wonderful day in the spew, T
-Wood.

1212
01:08:15,090 --> 01:08:16,090
Where are you going?

1213
01:08:16,310 --> 01:08:17,269
On a hunch.

1214
01:08:17,270 --> 01:08:18,850
Becca, you're the best.

1215
01:08:19,330 --> 01:08:23,670
You're the best super sharp gal editor
with interesting glasses that Tri

1216
01:08:23,670 --> 01:08:25,090
Picayune has ever had.

1217
01:08:35,420 --> 01:08:38,000
Let's hope it's the crew from Instant
Dream Home.

1218
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:46,340
Maddie. Hi. So sorry I didn't call
first, but I have an idea and I just

1219
01:08:46,340 --> 01:08:47,340
wait. Can I come in?

1220
01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:49,760
Sure, for a minute.

1221
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,460
Well, that's my idea.

1222
01:08:52,140 --> 01:08:53,439
Coming in. Hi, Maddie.

1223
01:08:54,500 --> 01:08:55,419
What's this about?

1224
01:08:55,420 --> 01:08:57,680
Well, you know how yours and Craig's
high school reunion is coming up?

1225
01:08:57,899 --> 01:08:58,799
In eight months.

1226
01:08:58,800 --> 01:08:59,880
I know. It's right around the corner.

1227
01:09:00,220 --> 01:09:02,720
Anyway, I thought maybe you'd have a
yearbook with a picture in it.

1228
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:04,979
He never saves that kind of stuff.

1229
01:09:05,340 --> 01:09:07,560
Except his tassel on the rearview
mirror.

1230
01:09:08,439 --> 01:09:09,439
Great.

1231
01:09:11,740 --> 01:09:14,960
I want to scan it into the computer and
create a whole montage of the high

1232
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:15,759
school years.

1233
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,600
I'll make sure it's needlessly long and
super boring.

1234
01:09:18,939 --> 01:09:19,939
Oh, great.

1235
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:24,560
Oh, wow, look at these hairstyles. You
can take it with you. You were voted

1236
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:25,899
likely to cheat with a coach.

1237
01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:27,880
There it is.

1238
01:09:29,520 --> 01:09:30,520
Bernice Clarkson.

1239
01:09:32,300 --> 01:09:35,740
Ever go by Barry? I prefer Barack now.
What's going on?

1240
01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:40,319
I knew about the affair, but I didn't
know you had a secret business, too.

1241
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:43,859
Barry's Orchard Supply?

1242
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:51,439
How? I want a little money of my own in
case Donnie and I finally... Decide I

1243
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:52,840
need money of my own. It's not a crime.

1244
01:09:53,220 --> 01:09:54,840
How about stealing from the garden club?

1245
01:09:55,480 --> 01:09:57,340
My store isn't showing any extra profit.

1246
01:09:57,680 --> 01:09:58,680
Your lover is.

1247
01:09:59,060 --> 01:10:01,260
Is this your new hobby? Wild
accusations?

1248
01:10:02,090 --> 01:10:03,410
Weren't you supporting his gambling
habit?

1249
01:10:03,630 --> 01:10:05,210
Only until he got out of rehab.

1250
01:10:05,690 --> 01:10:06,690
Those are very weak dots.

1251
01:10:07,210 --> 01:10:08,970
There's nothing there that ties me to
Joseph.

1252
01:10:10,310 --> 01:10:11,310
Maybe not.

1253
01:10:11,610 --> 01:10:13,390
Except I never said it was Joseph
Rivera.

1254
01:10:13,770 --> 01:10:17,650
I assumed it was Joseph Gordon -Levitt.
I thought it was Joseph Stalin.

1255
01:10:20,750 --> 01:10:21,750
All right.

1256
01:10:22,050 --> 01:10:23,770
I admit it. I was seeing Joseph.

1257
01:10:24,610 --> 01:10:29,190
Why? To make the t -ball coach jealous.
He was great in bed.

1258
01:10:31,690 --> 01:10:33,530
And then the fool gets himself killed.

1259
01:10:34,050 --> 01:10:36,110
Right when I was Super Horned Doggy.

1260
01:10:37,510 --> 01:10:39,290
That's why I need your help to solve
this.

1261
01:10:39,690 --> 01:10:40,710
Tell me what you know.

1262
01:10:41,870 --> 01:10:42,950
Why should I trust you?

1263
01:10:43,470 --> 01:10:45,990
Because if I'd wanted people to know
about your affair, you would have read

1264
01:10:45,990 --> 01:10:49,190
about it in the paper this morning. In
the adultery and fornication list.

1265
01:10:50,670 --> 01:10:54,290
Look, a lot of people hated Joseph, but
I don't know who hated him enough to

1266
01:10:54,290 --> 01:10:55,290
kill him.

1267
01:10:55,970 --> 01:10:56,970
Weren't you there?

1268
01:10:57,290 --> 01:10:58,290
Where?

1269
01:10:58,490 --> 01:11:01,990
When he was killed, a woman was seen
talking to Rivera moments before the

1270
01:11:01,990 --> 01:11:04,950
attack. Whoa, whoa, slow down, Sherlock.
I wasn't there when he was attacked.

1271
01:11:05,350 --> 01:11:06,790
I was there when he was poisoned.

1272
01:11:07,170 --> 01:11:09,650
And the moment I saw him, I was
surrounded by soccer moms. I've got an

1273
01:11:09,750 --> 01:11:10,750
babe.

1274
01:11:11,170 --> 01:11:12,170
That's strange.

1275
01:11:12,830 --> 01:11:14,530
And he was seeing someone else, too?

1276
01:11:14,790 --> 01:11:19,190
I don't know where... The please take a
number sign on the equipment shed should

1277
01:11:19,190 --> 01:11:20,190
have been a tip -off.

1278
01:11:21,130 --> 01:11:22,130
There was something.

1279
01:11:23,390 --> 01:11:27,870
His pet name for me was Sir Barks -a
-Lot. Never mind.

1280
01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:29,360
What?

1281
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:31,660
My little cupcake.

1282
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:35,960
But in that Spanish accent of his, it
was... Hard to understand.

1283
01:11:36,440 --> 01:11:37,440
And?

1284
01:11:37,580 --> 01:11:41,940
And a couple times recently, he called
me by some other name.

1285
01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:47,000
I don't know where it came from. It was
like Laura... something... Milora...

1286
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:50,100
Peking? Maybe it was Chungking.

1287
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,000
Milora Pekinia?

1288
01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:53,620
Yeah, yes, that was it.

1289
01:11:54,490 --> 01:11:58,330
And then he'd stop himself, like he'd
called me by the wrong name. Which he

1290
01:11:59,850 --> 01:12:01,110
Look, that's all I know.

1291
01:12:02,190 --> 01:12:03,690
You won't mention the affair?

1292
01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:05,570
No.

1293
01:12:05,850 --> 01:12:07,270
On my garden store?

1294
01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:09,270
Not if you stop stealing.

1295
01:12:10,450 --> 01:12:11,450
Fine.

1296
01:12:11,950 --> 01:12:13,110
Anything else, Maddie?

1297
01:12:13,450 --> 01:12:17,110
Nope. Let's get together and wear low
-cut tops again real soon.

1298
01:12:19,570 --> 01:12:22,070
I think you should tell your husband.

1299
01:12:23,190 --> 01:12:24,190
Please.

1300
01:12:24,710 --> 01:12:27,690
Donnie and I have cheated on each other
so many times, we might as well be

1301
01:12:27,690 --> 01:12:30,130
politicians. Pause for laugh track.

1302
01:12:30,410 --> 01:12:32,390
Sorry, Maddie. Life isn't simple for
everyone.

1303
01:12:34,430 --> 01:12:36,630
Donnie and I just don't make each other
feel sexy anymore.

1304
01:12:37,210 --> 01:12:38,450
We haven't for years.

1305
01:12:39,010 --> 01:12:41,770
Oh, honey, I can hear everything through
the door.

1306
01:12:43,070 --> 01:12:45,870
Would you answer a stupid question for
me?

1307
01:12:46,670 --> 01:12:47,670
Sure, why not?

1308
01:12:48,290 --> 01:12:50,490
What were you hiding with those big dark
sunglasses?

1309
01:12:50,850 --> 01:12:52,010
Oh, you noticed?

1310
01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:54,510
I guess everybody did. Pink eye.

1311
01:12:55,090 --> 01:12:56,750
Talk about not feeling sexy.

1312
01:12:56,990 --> 01:12:58,710
So frustrating, I wanted to cry.

1313
01:12:59,030 --> 01:13:01,070
I had to take a three -day sexy break.

1314
01:13:02,010 --> 01:13:03,010
Thanks, Bernice.

1315
01:13:07,330 --> 01:13:11,250
Yeah, well, don't judge me, McKellar.
You're the one hosting Domino Masters

1316
01:13:11,250 --> 01:13:12,250
Bill Nye.

1317
01:13:13,630 --> 01:13:14,630
That's strange.

1318
01:13:15,110 --> 01:13:19,290
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it's not
Bernice, but who was the other woman?

1319
01:13:19,830 --> 01:13:22,270
It couldn't have been his wife, could
it?

1320
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:26,940
Her nickname was Mi Pequeña Molestia.
And then it hit me.

1321
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:28,680
Literally.

1322
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:31,960
Wait,

1323
01:13:33,740 --> 01:13:35,580
she got dragged into her own van?

1324
01:13:35,980 --> 01:13:36,980
Drive.

1325
01:13:37,700 --> 01:13:39,320
Where are we going? I said drive.

1326
01:13:39,540 --> 01:13:40,540
Okay, okay.

1327
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:41,800
What are you doing?

1328
01:13:41,860 --> 01:13:46,080
Putting my seatbelt on. And then I'm
cranking Nora Jones. I have a procedure.

1329
01:13:48,730 --> 01:13:52,090
Nothing personal, but you've been
sniffing up the wrong trees, my friend.

1330
01:13:53,850 --> 01:13:54,850
Don't worry.

1331
01:13:54,870 --> 01:13:56,010
It'll be painless.

1332
01:13:58,930 --> 01:14:01,710
Maddie? Shouldn't look so sexy being
abducted.

1333
01:14:02,350 --> 01:14:03,350
Turn left.

1334
01:14:03,370 --> 01:14:04,188
At Kelmont?

1335
01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,190
Yeah, right here.

1336
01:14:05,470 --> 01:14:09,150
Well, technically, you can't turn left
from Maple on to Kelmont after 7 o

1337
01:14:09,150 --> 01:14:10,630
on a weekday. Just turn.

1338
01:14:10,870 --> 01:14:15,150
I admit it. I have had to do this exact
same thing with chatty Uber drivers.

1339
01:14:25,160 --> 01:14:27,940
I'm feeling a little bit dizzy. Can I
roll down the window? I'll do it. Just

1340
01:14:27,940 --> 01:14:29,320
keep your hands on the wheel.

1341
01:14:29,900 --> 01:14:34,440
So what's worse, gunpoint or getting car
sick on your kidnapper's signature

1342
01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:35,440
fragrance?

1343
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:42,220
You don't have to do this, you know. I
understand how you feel. I've been

1344
01:14:42,220 --> 01:14:43,740
cheated on before by an old boyfriend.

1345
01:14:44,260 --> 01:14:46,500
That's why she dialed him. She can't let
it go.

1346
01:14:46,780 --> 01:14:48,240
There's another woman. Another woman.

1347
01:14:51,100 --> 01:14:52,100
It hurts.

1348
01:14:52,160 --> 01:14:55,020
And I know you were the one who was
arguing with Revere before he was

1349
01:14:55,740 --> 01:14:58,720
But I don't blame you. I mean, I would
have yelled at him, too.

1350
01:14:58,940 --> 01:15:01,080
A 5 -3 -2 defense. Come on.

1351
01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:03,300
Not exactly.

1352
01:15:05,780 --> 01:15:06,780
Damn it!

1353
01:15:09,120 --> 01:15:11,160
Didn't your mother ever teach you to
wear your seatbelt, Kathy?

1354
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:13,780
Oh, sorry. We weren't fancy like you.

1355
01:15:14,100 --> 01:15:15,100
Give me out!

1356
01:15:15,420 --> 01:15:16,420
Childproof lock.

1357
01:15:16,740 --> 01:15:17,740
What do you want?

1358
01:15:19,230 --> 01:15:21,390
Can you watch my kids or not?

1359
01:15:23,710 --> 01:15:30,710
You have a habit of

1360
01:15:30,710 --> 01:15:33,590
repeating what people say. To irony,
Mom.

1361
01:15:46,860 --> 01:15:48,800
You thought Rivera was going to give you
that money.

1362
01:15:49,380 --> 01:15:50,440
It was for us.

1363
01:15:51,020 --> 01:15:52,420
Minus convenience fees.

1364
01:15:53,540 --> 01:15:55,960
He told me that he was just drinking
Bernice along.

1365
01:15:56,880 --> 01:15:58,340
Just using her for the money.

1366
01:16:00,180 --> 01:16:01,640
We were going to go away together.

1367
01:16:02,160 --> 01:16:05,040
To Oxnard. We were going to get away
from all of this.

1368
01:16:06,180 --> 01:16:08,200
I am the only one that left him.

1369
01:16:09,380 --> 01:16:11,400
Not Bernice. Not his wife.

1370
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,600
I would have done anything for him.

1371
01:16:13,900 --> 01:16:16,100
Until you realized he wasn't saving
money at all.

1372
01:16:16,440 --> 01:16:20,380
He was doing origami with it. He would
gamble away my entire future.

1373
01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:23,800
I thought that he loved me.

1374
01:16:25,580 --> 01:16:26,960
I thought it was for us.

1375
01:16:27,700 --> 01:16:29,040
And when you found out?

1376
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:32,620
When I confronted him, he just laughed
at me.

1377
01:16:33,460 --> 01:16:35,940
As not shown in this flashback.

1378
01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:43,140
I'd hoped for the best, but I prepared
for the worst. Oh, like me growing my

1379
01:16:43,140 --> 01:16:44,140
roots out.

1380
01:16:45,790 --> 01:16:46,790
Methyl bromide.

1381
01:16:49,030 --> 01:16:52,830
According to Garden Lovers Weekly, it's
the deadliest insecticide on the market.

1382
01:16:56,110 --> 01:16:58,490
I knew it'd only take a prick to make
him pass out.

1383
01:16:58,870 --> 01:17:00,110
Yeah, I'm moving on.

1384
01:17:00,810 --> 01:17:06,390
So I took him in my arms one last time.
And pleaded with him to wash his shirt.

1385
01:17:06,610 --> 01:17:07,610
And I stabbed him.

1386
01:17:10,850 --> 01:17:11,850
That wasn't enough.

1387
01:17:14,410 --> 01:17:17,970
So I took that precious megaphone that
he loved so much and bashed his head in.

1388
01:17:18,590 --> 01:17:20,610
You could hear his death screams for
miles.

1389
01:17:20,930 --> 01:17:22,690
Probably should have turned it off
first.

1390
01:17:23,550 --> 01:17:26,650
I get back out in the parking lot and
some guy is backed into my car.

1391
01:17:27,970 --> 01:17:31,650
And Ralph Sender saw the whole thing,
didn't he? I did that cockroach a favor.

1392
01:17:31,910 --> 01:17:32,990
Uh, Palmetto Bug?

1393
01:17:33,690 --> 01:17:35,410
Kathy, we have to go to the police.

1394
01:17:36,070 --> 01:17:37,370
They will find you.

1395
01:17:40,510 --> 01:17:41,510
You'll never know.

1396
01:17:41,730 --> 01:17:43,650
I mean, it's not like you're Lieutenant
Mom.

1397
01:17:47,730 --> 01:17:50,650
Seriously, tell me my life didn't hinge
on my five -year -old son's dried

1398
01:17:50,650 --> 01:17:52,950
oatmeal. What, just another reason to go
keto.

1399
01:18:00,850 --> 01:18:02,190
What? That's right.

1400
01:18:02,510 --> 01:18:04,510
I fell out of the car at some point.

1401
01:18:06,610 --> 01:18:08,150
I don't have time for that story.

1402
01:18:11,850 --> 01:18:13,750
Oh, good thing Ponch was in the area.

1403
01:18:15,830 --> 01:18:18,890
The poison was methyl bromide. She runs
a garden club.

1404
01:18:19,270 --> 01:18:22,550
I'm guessing that irregular mark on her
bureau's neck came from that same pen.

1405
01:18:22,890 --> 01:18:25,470
The whole time I was looking for a guy.
In a garden club.

1406
01:18:25,710 --> 01:18:27,770
I forget how easy it is to underestimate
you ladies.

1407
01:18:28,150 --> 01:18:30,470
I forget how easy it is to overestimate
myself.

1408
01:18:30,930 --> 01:18:32,870
You need to lower that bar a lot.

1409
01:18:33,230 --> 01:18:34,810
I've got kids who need me.

1410
01:18:36,110 --> 01:18:37,130
What was I thinking?

1411
01:18:37,530 --> 01:18:38,690
You were thinking about justice.

1412
01:18:40,440 --> 01:18:41,440
Thanks, by the way.

1413
01:18:42,060 --> 01:18:43,880
I'm just sorry I didn't catch up with
you sooner.

1414
01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:46,760
How did you catch up with me so fast?

1415
01:18:47,420 --> 01:18:48,780
Were you in my neighborhood?

1416
01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:51,840
I was at a point break meetup. I saw you
at the station.

1417
01:18:52,620 --> 01:18:53,880
I knew what you were up to.

1418
01:18:54,180 --> 01:18:57,880
I figured at the very least, we might
solve our case for it.

1419
01:18:59,100 --> 01:19:03,620
At the very most, you might need a
rescue.

1420
01:19:03,920 --> 01:19:07,140
I'll come to your emotional rescue.

1421
01:19:12,450 --> 01:19:14,950
Wait, your husband's name is Rob? I
thought it was Craig.

1422
01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:17,890
That's great to see you again.

1423
01:19:18,730 --> 01:19:19,730
Yeah.

1424
01:19:20,210 --> 01:19:21,250
And thanks for the help.

1425
01:19:21,610 --> 01:19:24,810
By which I mean, thanks for doing my
entire job for me.

1426
01:19:30,150 --> 01:19:31,370
Catch you in the next one, huh?

1427
01:19:32,250 --> 01:19:33,850
Tragically, there is a next one.

1428
01:19:36,210 --> 01:19:37,210
Okay, fine.

1429
01:19:37,250 --> 01:19:38,290
I'll tell you this much.

1430
01:19:38,680 --> 01:19:42,660
His name is Rob Campbell. Yes, he's
single. I didn't ask.

1431
01:19:43,020 --> 01:19:44,120
Genuinely do not care.

1432
01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,520
You might find his name surrounded by
more hearts than a deck of cards.

1433
01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:50,320
But that was a long time ago.

1434
01:19:50,840 --> 01:19:52,040
I did love him.

1435
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:56,060
But not as much as I love my life today.

1436
01:19:56,320 --> 01:20:00,000
Wait, the kids are due back soon. What's
Rob's number again?

1437
01:20:04,340 --> 01:20:05,580
How's the police issue?

1438
01:20:06,030 --> 01:20:08,370
It was wonderful after I told them
everything I knew six times.

1439
01:20:09,270 --> 01:20:12,190
Kids, take this in the kitchen. I need
to talk to your mom alone for a second.

1440
01:20:13,110 --> 01:20:14,690
Maddie, I'm leaving you for Rob.

1441
01:20:19,250 --> 01:20:22,170
Maddie. I know what you're going to say.
And you think that's going to stop me

1442
01:20:22,170 --> 01:20:23,170
from saying it.

1443
01:20:23,230 --> 01:20:24,650
Southwest canceled my job.

1444
01:20:24,910 --> 01:20:25,910
How did things get out of hand?

1445
01:20:26,590 --> 01:20:27,590
I was reckless.

1446
01:20:29,010 --> 01:20:30,010
I'm sorry, sweetie.

1447
01:20:31,630 --> 01:20:33,370
You know as much as I love our kids.

1448
01:20:35,180 --> 01:20:36,320
I don't want to raise them alone.

1449
01:20:36,580 --> 01:20:38,740
So if you die, they go to your sister.

1450
01:20:41,240 --> 01:20:45,720
Is this the other?

1451
01:20:46,460 --> 01:20:47,740
Well, was it the other?

1452
01:20:48,040 --> 01:20:49,220
We may never care.

1453
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:54,620
Hey, no running!

1454
01:20:54,960 --> 01:20:57,160
For state senator, we talked about this.

1455
01:21:07,020 --> 01:21:08,020
What a night.

1456
01:21:08,260 --> 01:21:09,260
For diarrhea.

1457
01:21:09,860 --> 01:21:11,240
Okay, everyone, bow your heads.

1458
01:21:11,540 --> 01:21:13,920
We're going to at least enjoy dessert as
a family tonight.

1459
01:21:17,220 --> 01:21:19,480
Lord, thank you for this food we're
about to receive.

1460
01:21:19,780 --> 01:21:22,140
And thank you for the blessings you give
in our lives.

1461
01:21:23,380 --> 01:21:24,380
Amen.

1462
01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:25,600
Amen.

1463
01:21:29,340 --> 01:21:30,340
I'll get it.

1464
01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:34,020
Yeah, not even Mary Higgins Clark would
put her name to this movie.

1465
01:21:35,790 --> 01:21:38,510
I should be fired. For thinking I was
Jane Lynch.

1466
01:21:38,830 --> 01:21:42,230
I'm not having convinced you to come
back to work full time. I can't believe

1467
01:21:42,230 --> 01:21:46,210
going to say this, but momhood agrees
with you. It works on you, Maddie. I do

1468
01:21:46,210 --> 01:21:49,930
like it. It's like you've grown eyes in
the back of your head. You are better

1469
01:21:49,930 --> 01:21:52,430
than ever. And the internet won't change
a thing.

1470
01:21:52,870 --> 01:21:57,070
Front page again, my dear. But what's
with the pseudonym? Why didn't you take

1471
01:21:57,070 --> 01:21:58,070
credit for solving the crime?

1472
01:21:58,530 --> 01:22:01,250
I'll keep doing Inspector Mom, but I
don't want to be known for this other

1473
01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:02,450
stuff. It's dangerous.

1474
01:22:03,070 --> 01:22:04,730
And it attracts the wrong kind of
attention.

1475
01:22:05,500 --> 01:22:08,580
I've got a family now. No, no, it's been
ten years.

1476
01:22:09,020 --> 01:22:10,820
Big surprise.

1477
01:22:11,220 --> 01:22:14,300
So, you'll solve the crime and you'll do
the article. You just won't take credit

1478
01:22:14,300 --> 01:22:15,740
for it? I didn't say that.

1479
01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:18,900
Isn't this basically the same setup as
Mrs.

1480
01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:25,320
Columbo? That's Inspector Mrs. Columbo.
I don't care who gets the credit. I need

1481
01:22:25,320 --> 01:22:26,580
the story. I need you.

1482
01:22:26,980 --> 01:22:28,640
Becca. You think about it.

1483
01:22:28,860 --> 01:22:29,900
We'll talk tomorrow.

1484
01:22:31,020 --> 01:22:32,020
I know you.

1485
01:22:32,740 --> 01:22:34,080
You can't say no.

1486
01:22:34,760 --> 01:22:38,280
Which is why she is the den mother in
charge of the magazine drive, organizes

1487
01:22:38,280 --> 01:22:41,660
all the meal trains, collects Campbell's
soup labels, drives her meals on

1488
01:22:41,660 --> 01:22:44,400
wheels, plans all the girls' trips, and
sells essential oils.

1489
01:22:46,260 --> 01:22:47,260
Who was it?

1490
01:22:47,500 --> 01:22:48,500
Oh, the boss.

1491
01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:50,680
Saying glory days and left. Good news.

1492
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:52,160
You're beaming.

1493
01:22:52,380 --> 01:22:53,700
A new assignment, maybe.

1494
01:22:54,400 --> 01:22:55,400
Oh, anything interesting?

1495
01:22:56,220 --> 01:22:57,220
Not really.

1496
01:22:57,240 --> 01:22:59,920
Oh, they're chasing ice cream with a
glass of milk.

1497
01:23:05,960 --> 01:23:10,400
This week's Inspector Mom story, it went
a little something like this. Please,

1498
01:23:10,400 --> 01:23:11,400
not again.

1499
01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:15,720
This week, I'm not going to talk about
toilet cleaners or minivan tips.

1500
01:23:15,940 --> 01:23:20,620
But I would like to explore the
drawbacks of mini closets. Watch out for

1501
01:23:21,900 --> 01:23:26,700
Instead, this week, I want to take a
minute to reflect on how often we moms

1502
01:23:26,700 --> 01:23:31,800
about getting away, dream about escaping
our lives to find adventure and

1503
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:33,800
excitement. Ugly couches.

1504
01:23:34,180 --> 01:23:35,420
When instead...

1505
01:23:35,690 --> 01:23:37,670
We could be grateful for the lives that
we have.

1506
01:23:38,510 --> 01:23:41,410
Our kids, our husbands, our families.

1507
01:23:43,410 --> 01:23:45,130
And the Motorola Company.

1508
01:23:45,710 --> 01:23:48,450
Sometimes, adventure finds us.

1509
01:23:50,030 --> 01:23:51,550
Right here in the neighborhood.

1510
01:23:54,350 --> 01:23:55,350
Okay, Baker.

1511
01:23:55,830 --> 01:23:56,830
What's next?

1512
01:23:56,870 --> 01:23:57,870
Sorry, wrong number.

1513
01:23:58,990 --> 01:24:03,230
And that's the end of this movie, but
Inspector Mom will return in The

1514
01:24:03,230 --> 01:24:04,230
Remommening.

1515
01:24:04,830 --> 01:24:05,870
Hee hee hee!